The Perfect Plan
by BlueMoonFan
Summary: This is a Castle Winter Hiatus 2014 Ficathon EntryKate gets called into the school for a parent/teacher conference because her daughter keeps getting in fights with Alexis Castle. Johanna Beckett is also still alive. As such, this story is very AU.
1. Chapter 1

This is based on the following prompts: Kate gets called into the school for a parent/teacher conference because her daughter keeps getting in fights with Alexis Castle. That and Johanna Beckett is still alive. This is for the Winter Hiatus ficathon. Therefore it is very, very AU.

The only characters I own are Samantha and Noah Beckett. All other characters belong to their creators.

I would love to thank my wonderful beta readers for looking over this for me. I truly appreciate you taking the time to help make this story better. Danielle, otherwise known on tumblr as creativitydoesnotexisitinthisdojo.

Now, on with the story...

Samantha Beckett is a smart and precocious ten year old girl who lives with her mom and Captain of the 12th precinct Kate Beckett. She is known as Sam by all of her friends and most of her family. She also lives with her three year old brother Noah, who as little brothers went, was cute, but kind of annoying. Especially to a ten year old girl. Her mom had only three things she cared about in her life. Her job and her children.

While Samantha loved her mother, she sometimes wished that her mom would have more of a social life. Staying at home on a Saturday night couldn't be fun for her. She knew this because she'd heard her mom crying in bed at night and sometimes it made Sam cry for her mother. She knew that her mom was lonely, but she wasn't sure how to help her.

Samantha had been best friends with Alexis Castle for almost six years. The two girls met when Alexis offered to share her cookies with Sam in preschool one day. Before then, Sam had been somewhat shy and quiet. At least until Alexis drew her out of her shell. Since then, she had been over to Alexis' house all many times, even spending the night with her best friend on occasion.

Samantha had always liked her best friends father. Not only was he funny, but he was good looking also. He had raised his only daughter by himself for the past ten years and as far as Samantha was concerned, he had done an outstanding job with her. The best part was that her father was also single. Any woman would consider him a wonderful husband and father.

As far as Samantha was concerned, her life was perfect. Well, as perfect as you could get with a single mom that deserved someone to love. That was Samantha's current mission in life. Finding someone perfect for her mom to fall in love with.

That was when she and Alexis came up with the perfect idea.

What if their parents were to fall in love with each other? For the two girls, that was the perfect plan. The only tricky part was bringing them together. They didn't exactly run in the same social circles. That was when Alexis and Sam started talking about how to bring their parents together. How to get them to meet one another and possibly fall in love.

Sam shook her head, "I don't know Lex… Isn't it a bit extreme? I mean getting into fights at school. My mom will kill me."

Alexis shook her head, "No it isn't and she won't kill you. Look, you are doing this for her. For your brother."

"But having her come to the school…Can't we just, I don't know….can't we just have a sleepover and have your dad bring you over or…"

Alexis shook her head, "That won't work. We need to find a way to get them to talk to each other for longer than it will take to have them drop us off. It's the only way. It's perfect. I mean, what can go wrong?"

"Oh lots of things. My mom will ground me or kill me or…"

Alexis laughed at her friend, "That's not going to happen. Trust me Sam. I've seen your mother. She's cool."

"She's also the Captain at the Twelfth precinct. Captain, Lex. Which means, she will know how to kill me and get away with it."

"You worry too much…"

Samantha either didn't hear her friend or was ignoring her because she said, "It's okay. My grandparents are lawyers. They will get her off and she will still be there for my brother. That's cool…"

Alexis laughed, "Look, after our parents meet and fall in love, we will tell them all about it. They will be so happy with each other that they will forget all about being mad at us."

Samantha nodded and whispered, "Yeah sure. You just keep thinking that Lex. You don't know my mom like I do."

"Is she that mean?"

Samantha shook her head, "No. No she's not mean at all, but she's been so sad lately. Ever since Noah's father left…"

Alexis nodded, "It sucks that he just left her all alone. I know that my dad could make her happy. He knows what it's like to be left all alone with a baby to raise. He did it with me."

"I don't know Lex. I just don't want her to be upset because of me. I've never been in trouble before. I…"

"And you won't be in trouble now Sam. This is just the perfect way to get them together. I promise you we won't do anything really bad. Just get in a few small fights. Enough to get our parents here. Then, they will be forced to talk to each other."

Samantha wasn't sure that this was the best way to do this. Sure, she wanted her mother to be happy again, but she wasn't positive that this was smart. Her mother would kill her for fighting. Her mom had never had any problems with her. The worst thing she had ever done was refuse to eat her vegetables. Fighting at school was a sure way to get her moms attention. She just wasn't sure that it was the right way.

She watched as Lex waved her hand in front of her face and asked, "Are you listening to me?"

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"I don't know…things. Look Lex are you sure that.."

"I'm positive. Look, I'll take all the blame. After they meet and fall in love."

"If you are sure…"

"I am Sam! It's perfect…"

Samantha only wished that she felt the same way. She hated the fact that this was the best plan that they could come up with to get their parents to meet. She did want her mom to be happy, and she had met Alexis' father, and he was great. She had a feeling that her mom would like him as well if she could only get over her broken heart. She had never liked the man her mom had dated for nearly two years. When he'd left her alone and pregnant with her baby brother, she heard her mom crying for hours in her room. It was only recently that she'd started smiling again. That was why she was so hesitant about doing anything to upset her mom.

She finally told Alexis, "Fine. I'll do it, but we have to be smart about it."

Nodding, Alexis told her friend, "We can do that. We will only fight when the teachers are around. And whatever you do, don't hurt me too badly."

"What? Why do I have to be the bad guy?"

Alexis laughed, "Because no one would take me for a bully."

"And they would take me for one?"

"Not really, but your mom is a cop."

"So, what does that have to do with anything?"

"She's taught you self defense right?"

Samantha nodded, "Yeah, but…"

"So you would know how to beat me up and not leave a mark. You're perfect for it. Trust me Sam."

Samantha sighed softly and then told her friend, "At least my Grandparents are lawyers and can clear me when this is over with."

Alexis threw her arm around her friend's shoulder and smiled, "It will be fine Sam. You'll see. In no time we will tell our parents all about this and we will all get a good laugh out of it."

Samantha finally asked, "So when do we start?"

"Today. We can do it when we are in PE. That way we don't disrupt any of my favorite classes. Are you okay with this?"

Nodding slowly, Samantha sighed, "No, not really, but I don't see any other way to do this."

They walked to their class together arm in arm. Before walking inside they hugged one another and Alexis whispered, "It will be fine Sam. Promise."

Sam smiled and watched as her friend walked into the classroom in front of her. She wasn't at all sure that this was the best way to go about this, but she was willing to try it. If only to give her mom a reason to smile again.

Later that day in their PE class, Samantha looked at Alexis and told her, "Okay. Get ready. I'm going to start a fight now."

Nodding, Alexis whispered, "Don't hit me too hard. Okay?"

"Okay."

Samantha started yelling all kinds of things and then when she was sure that their PE teacher was looking. Then, she took a deep breath and pushed Alexis down onto the ground of the play yard. She counted to ten and then when Alexis was down on the ground she said, "Stay down!"

If it wouldn't ruin their plan, Alexis would have laughed at her friend, but she knew that would ruin everything, so, she let her face stay neutral. She got back up and started pretending to swing. However, Samantha pushed her again and then sat on top of her pretending to hit her friend. Then, Alexis rolled her over and she was on top of her. The teachers arrived soon and managed to pull the girls apart. Samantha and Alexis pretended to lunge at one another. The teachers managed to keep them apart and they walked them into the office.

As they were walking to the office, Alexis smiled and gave her friend a thumbs up. Samantha rolled her eyes and walked into the office with the teachers. She felt like she was being walked to the executioner and that would be her mother.

The girls got off with a warning this time, but their Principal told them that if the fighting continued that they would both have their parents called into the school.

Over the next three weeks, Alexis and Samantha managed to get into at least one or two fights a week. After the last one, both of the girls were told that their parents were going to be called, since the girls couldn't work out their issues, maybe bringing in their parents would do the trick.

Meanwhile, Richard Castle is sitting at a book signing and everyone can tell he is bored. Bored with the same questions. Bored with writing the same character for the past twelve years. Until recently, he had always enjoyed writing. Now however, it felt like a chore. It felt like a job.

He was honestly very happy with his life because despite his boredom, he loved writing. He loved weaving stories for his readers and really loved meeting people. Except when they asked the same questions again and again. Then, it just got mundane and laughable. He'd been toying with the idea of finding a new character to write. Although he knew doing that would cause Gina to possibly kill him. He had to laugh at that one. Gina had been threatening to kill him for the last few years. He usually just laughed at her and would throw a few more chapters her way. That usually satisfied her. At least it had until recently. He was finding it harder and harder to write a single line, let alone anything that could be considered chapter length.

He smiled down at the book he was holding and asked, "Who should I make it out to?"

"Johanna. I love your books Mister Castle."

The woman standing with her laughed, "Really mom? You are such a fan girl."

Rick looked over at the other woman standing there and was immediately taken by her. She was absolutely beautiful. He laughed and told them, "I've seen bigger fan girls. Believe me. And you are?"

"Not a fan."

Johanna looked at her daughter and whispered, "Really Katie? You can't wait until we aren't standing right in front of my favorite author to say that?"

Rick laughed when the younger woman whispered, "Fine mother….can you just tell him to sign it so we can go? We've been standing here for ages and I'm starving."

Rick's pen was poised and he scribbled a note inside. Then he picked up a spare book and scribbled a message for Johanna's daughter. When he handed the books to the women, Johanna smiled and said, "Thank you Mister Castle."

Kate rolled her eyes at her mother, but when Rick handed her one, she said, "I didn't buy this…"

Smiling, he told her, "It's on the house."

"T-thank you?"

Kate was speechless. From everything she'd read about this man, he was a self-centered jackass. This man in front of her seemed so different. Before she could say anything else, her mother was pulling her away from the table. She turned her head and saw that he was watching them as they walked away. There was just something about this man, but the spell was broken when she heard a voice say to him, "Richard! You have other fans waiting to meet you."

Rick smiled one final time at them and then turned to meet the next fan waiting in line. Kate turned and walked beside her mom. They stopped at the food court of the mall and grabbed a quick lunch. Johanna read the inscription that Rick had written and smiled. He had written in big bold script: **_To Johanna, My biggest fan. May you always keep smiling._**

Johanna looked at her daughter and asked her excitedly, "What did he write in your book?"

Kate sighed and opened to the first page. She read the inscription and rolled her eyes. Then she passed the book to her mother and her mom laughed and said, "That's so funny Katie!"

There on the white pages of the book he had written, "**_To Katie: Even though you aren't a fan, I wanted to give you this book. Hopefully it will give you a reason to become a fan. If not, then at least you got a free book."_**

"I'm glad you can laugh about it mom. I personally don't think it's very funny."

Johanna rolled her eyes and laughed, "Oh lighten up dear. I saw the way that he looked at you and I saw the way that you looked at him. There was a spark there. You…"

Kate rolled her eyes, "Mom…Quit trying to play matchmaker. You know that I'm not interested in dating anybody right now."

"You haven't dated anyone since before Noah was born and…"

Kate held up her hands and told her mother, "Mother…"

"I'm just saying…"

"I know. Just drop it mom. Samantha and Noah are all I need to be happy. I don't need a man and.."

Kate was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.

Johanna laughed softly at her daughter and shook her head. She only wanted her daughter to be happy and it was apparent to her that she was extremely sad. She wanted to see her daughter smile again. She was lost in her thoughts and heard her daughter say, "What? Are you kidding me?"

Johanna was immediately on the alert and whispered, "Is everything okay?"

Kate held up her hand and then told the caller, "Yes. Of course I will be right there. Thank you for calling Principal Andrews."

When Kate hung up the phone, Johanna asked, "What's wrong with Samantha?"

Sighing, Kate told her, "Apparently she's in trouble for fighting. And you will never guess who's daughter she was fighting."

"Who?"

Sighing she told her mom, "Alexis Castle. Daughter of your favorite author. I wonder what Alexis did to her and…"

Johanna laughed and watched as her daughter went off on a tirade. She always had blinders on when it came to her children and this time was no different. Johanna asked, "Do you have to go now?"

"I'm going to finish my lunch and then I am going to go to her school and get this straightened out."

Johanna nodded and smiled at her daughter. Little did either woman know then, but this would be the day that would change everything for them for the rest of their lives…..


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hopefully this chapter clears up the issue some readers had with Kate and Rick not knowing each other...**_

Johanna asked her daughter, "Aren't Sam and Alexis best friends?"

"Yeah. That's why this whole thing is so strange. They've been friends for years. Alexis has even spent the night at our house."

"Maybe they are fighting over boys."

Kate rolled her eyes, "They are only ten mom. They can't start fighting over boys until they are at least twelve."

Johanna laughed and reminded her daughter, "I remember you and Maddie fighting over boys when you were that age."

Kate gave her mother a dirty look, "They aren't like that mom. Alexis has always been a nice, sweet girl."

"Maybe they are just growing apart Katie. It happens you know."

"I know, but I just hate that it's happening to Sam. She already has so few friends that to lose even one is a lot."

"You should probably get to the school and see what's going on."

"Yeah. Love you mom."

"Love you Katie. Call me tonight and let me know how everything went. And give Noah and Sam a kiss from me."

Kate hugged her mother goodbye and headed towards the school. Kate had known for years that her daughter was friends with Rick Castle's daughter. They had known each other for years. She had smiled at the memory of their first meeting.

Sam was six and had been invited to Alexis' birthday party. It was a sleepover party and Sam had been over the moon excited about finally being allowed to sleepover at her best friends house. To say that Kate was nervous would be the understatement of the year. She had never allowed Sam to sleep anywhere except her house or her parents place. So, she had insisted on going up and meeting the people that she was entrusting her baby girl to.

As Kate walked into the lobby of the building where Alexis and her father lived, Kate realized that this place was, in a word, expensive. As they took the elevator up to the penthouse floor, Kate wondered what their place looked like.

Walking up to the door, Kate was hesitant to knock. She wanted to turn around and leave. She felt so out of place here. When she looked down at her daughter and saw the excitement on her face, she knew that she couldn't do that to her little girl. She sighed to herself, raised her hand and knocked on the door. Then she waited for the door to open.

The door was quickly opened by a woman wearing the most colorful clothing she had ever seen before. Alexis was standing to the side of her and ran over to Sam and hugged her, "You came! I was getting worried Sam!"

Sam had laughed at her friend, "Mommy just got off work late."

Then the girls disappeared into the house. Leaving Kate alone with a complete stranger. The woman standing by Kate held out her hand and said, "Welcome to our home. I'm Martha. Alexis' grandmother and Rick's mother."

Kate had smiled and shook the woman's hand, "It's nice to meet you."

Before she could say anything else, she saw a man dressed in a tux coming out of what looked to be an office. He stopped in front of her and then whispered, "Who are you?"

Kate smiled at him and said, "I'm Kate. I'm Samantha's mom."

"I'm Rick. Rick Castle. Thank you for bringing her. Alexis couldn't stop talking about her all day."

Kate could only nod. She had heard the stories about this man. The stories about how he only cared about women and parties. However, the man standing before her was nothing like that. He seemed to only have eyes for his daughter.

Then, he reached out and took her hand and she felt the sparks fly between them. When she looked in his eyes it was clear that he felt it also. She swallowed hard and then he asked, "Would you care for a drink? Wine maybe. Or juice. I have lots of juice."

Kate could only nod as she watched him walk to the kitchen and grab two wine glasses. He poured wine into them and handed one of the glasses to her. Then, he smiled at her, "So, tell me about yourself Kate..."

And so began a romance that lasted for the next six months. Neither of them wanted it to end up on page six, so they kept it quiet. So quiet that no one in either of their families knew. It ended when he was rumored to be back together with his ex-wife. The split had been hard on her and she knew that she would always love Rick Castle.

The one thing she was grateful for was that he hadn't let on that he had known her at the book signing. Her mother knew nothing of their brief, but wonderful time together and she really didn't want to explain it to her. After nearly four years, it would be hard to explain to anyone. At the time she had simply told him that they were done. That it had been nice while it lasted, but she wanted more out of a relationship. More than she thought he was willing to give. So, they had parted ways and hadn't see each other since. At least not until the day of the book signing.

Walking into the school that their daughters both attended was surreal for both Kate and Rick. They arrived at almost the same time. Part of her still loved this man. She knew that she always would. However, hearing that he had gotten back together with his ex had hurt her so badly that she would never forgive him. So, she buried the hurt and found someone that she thought would replace him. All it did however, was reenforce how much she would always love him.

Before they got to the principals office, Kate turned to him and said, "Thank you."

He turned to her with a look of confusion on his face and asked, "What for?"

Kate sighed, "For not saying anything about our past. At least not in front of my mother."

Rick laughed harshly, "Like I want to admit my greatest failure."

Before Kate could say anything else, Rick opened the door to the office and walked inside. Leaving Kate standing there shocked. What did he mean by that? Did he still have feelings for her after all this time? He couldn't still love her. Could he?

Kate sighed and walked inside the office. Wondering what in the world Rick Castle could have meant when he said those eight words to her...


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay, to say that I'm blown away by the response to this story would be an understatement. Thank you for all the alerts and follows. I appreciate them more than you can ever know...**_

Walking into the principals office Kate forced a smile on her face and sat in front of his desk net to Rick. They waited while the man shuffled some papers around in front of him. Then he looked at both of the adults and said, "We seem to have a big problem with your daughters. It seems they are having a hard time getting along with one another. Which is odd because until a few weeks ago, they were the best of friends. If this continues we will have no choice. We will have to remove one or both of them from the school."

Kate looked at him and asked, "Isn't there some other way that we can handle this?"

"Yeah, can't we just simply sit the girls down and talk to them?"

Principal Andrews shook his head, "We have tried talking to them. They either don't care or they just aren't listening. Whichever it is, we need to find a way to make them realize that the fighting can't continue."

Rick asked him, "What would you suggest that we do?"

"This calls for a radical approach. We want the girls to spend time together outside of the school." Then he looked at Rick and Kate and said, "I suggest supervised play dates."

Kate laughed and asked, "Are they three now?"

"Yeah. That's seems kind of silly."

Kate and Rick both laughed with each other. However, the girls principal didn't laugh at all. He simply stared at the other two adults and said, "This is a very serious matter Mister Castle and Ms. Beckett and it must be treated as such. The playdates will need to begin immediately. One shall take place at your house Mister Castle and the other one will be at your residence Ms. Beckett. Make the girls see that getting along is a good thing."

Kate looked at him and said, "We don't even like each other Mister Andrews."

The man then looked at each of them and said, "Well, I suggest you start pretending that you do. Or better yet, find a way to put your petty differences aside for the good of your daughters. Their futures at Marlowe Prep depend on it."

Then he stood up and walked out of the office. Leaving Rick and Kate looking at each in shock and bewilderment.

Kate looked at Rick and asked, "So, what do you want to do?"

Rick shrugged and whispered, "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Why should I make the decision here?"

Rick laughed, "Because I seem to remember that you were always the one to make all of the decisions."

"What are you even talking about?"

"Like you don't know. You made the decision to keep our relationship secret. You decided where we would go and what we would do. Hell, you even made the decision to sleep with me."

Kate laughed harshly, "As if you didn't do right along with it."

"I went along with it because I loved you and I wanted to make you happy, but nothing I did was ever good enough for you. Was it Kate?"

"In the end I wasn't enough for you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that after everything we meant to each other, everything I thought we had, it meant nothing to you."

"What in the hell are you talking about? I loved you Kate."

Kate laughed bitterly and wiped at her eyes, "Yeah. You loved me so much that you went back to your ex-wife."

"Are you crazy? I never went back to her! She hasn't been near me since we divorced ten years ago."

"That's not what the tabloids said...They even had pictures."

"Pictures can be doctored Kate."

Kate laughed, "And feelings can be faked Rick..."

Rick shook his head and leaned in close to her. He looked into her eyes and whispered, "I never once faked how I felt about you Kate. Not. One. Time. I loved you Kate. From the moment I laid eyes on you until the moment you walked out of my life, I loved everything about you. From the way you smiled. To the way you laughed. To they way you would say my name when we made love. There's a very good reason I haven't dated anyone in the past four years..."

Rick's words really got to her, but she didn't want him to see that. So, she tried to act like she didn't care and she asked, "And what reason is that Rick? Too busy playing the field?"

Rick laughed loudly, "No Kate. I haven't found anyone that makes me feel the way that you did. Dammit Kate. I loved you."

She noticed that he used the past tense and she felt her heart break at the words that came out of his mouth. Because if she was truthful with herself, she was still just as in love with him as she was the day she broke it off with him. Seeing him again made her feel things that she hadn't felt in a long, long time. She hadn't felt like she was truly loved in years. And the last person to love her had been the mad sitting in here with her.

Did she dare risk getting her heart broke again by him? She didn't know if she would survive. She shook her head and whispered, "I don't know what to say..."

Rick looked at her and whispered, "It's okay Kate. I'm over you now."

Kate wiped a tear from her cheek and whispered, "Yeah, me to."

"It's too bad. We were great once."

"Yeah, we sure were."

"We could be great again. If you'd just let..."

"No...I have too much to risk now..."

"I never was good enough for you. I'm just this stupid writer and you..."

"What? What about me?"

Rick looked at her sadly "You have a wonderful career. You're captain of a whole damn precinct. I can't ever compete with you."

"Who the hell asked you to compete with me Rick?"

"I never felt like I was good enough for you."

Kate sighed, "You were the best thing that had happened to me in a long, long time Rick."

"Then why didn't you trust me? Trust in our love?"

"I just never thought it would be enough. Before me, you dated super models. I was just a stupid cop and..."

"Dammit Kate! You aren't stupid! You are the most amazing woman I've ever known!"

At that point, all Kate could do was look at him. She knew that if she let herself, she could fall in love with him all over again. However, she was afraid to risk her heart again. She had done it once and it had cost her everything.

Meanwhile, Alexis and Samantha sat outside the principals office and they heard the voices of their parents yelling at each other. It didn't sound promising. So, Alexis looked at Sam and said, "Come on, we need to go in there now."

With that, Alexis pulled Samantha into the principals office and Alexis said, "What's going on?"

Both adults looked at their daughter's and Rick told them, "We are taking the two of you home. Then, we are going to have playdates. Starting this weekend. That's the only way you can stay here. Otherwise, you will both be removed."

Alexis and Samantha looked at one another and shrugged. Then Alexis said, "Can't we just promise to never fight again?"

"Yeah. I don't want to see her outside of school."

Kate shook her head, "Principal Andrews insists. So, because the two of you had to act like toddlers, you will be having playdates like toddlers."

Alexis rolled her eyes and whispered, "Great. Can we just get this over with?"

Samantha nodded, "Yeah, like tomorrow."

Kate smiled at their daughters and then said, "I'll call you tomorrow Rick."

Rick nodded and the girls walked out of the room first. Then, Rick and Kate gave each other one last longing look, and followed their daughter's out of the room.

Rick wanted to reach over and grab hold of Kate's hand, but he was deathly afraid that she would punch him. So, he simply held the door open for her and followed her out of the office. He vowed silently to himself that he would find a way to make them a family once and for all. Because he was still deeply in love with Kate Beckett and he knew now that he always would be...


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay, to say that I'm blown away by the response to this story would be an understatement. Thank you for all the alerts and follows. I appreciate them more than you can ever know...Just know that this is AU so everyone is acting out of character...**_

The morning before their first scheduled playdate came way too early for Kate's liking. She woke three hours before her normal time and she knew that it was a case of nerves. She found herself sitting on the outdoor patio drinking coffee and thinking about her relationship with Rick. It had been a wonderful time in her life. She had loved Rick so much. She just wasn't sure about his feelings for her. Sure, he'd told her that he loved her, but she had always felt like he was holding something back.

She felt that he had been keeping something from her during their time together. So, when she broke it off, it was with a heavy heart. She also carried a huge secret. One that, at the time seemed small, but now it had the potential to change everything. What would he do when he found out? Would he ever be able to forgive her for the choices that she had made back then? Or would he hate her forever? He knew that she wouldn't, couldn't forgive her. The choices that she had made back then were unforgivable. How many times had she picked up the phone and tried to call him. To let him know about her darkest secret and her biggest regret? She had never been able to make that very important phone call.

If she was honest with herself, she would have to admit that she had been afraid. Afraid that he wouldn't have believed her. Would have called her all kinds of names and then hung up the phone. Leaving her even more heartbroken than before. She hadn't set out to hurt him. Although she knew that he wouldn't believe her. So many years had passed. And with each passing day, the secret she carried threatened to come out into the open. Kate knew that the second he saw Noah he would know. Hell, her own mother didn't believe her story of who Noah's father was. Because while Samantha looked just like her, Noah was the spitting image of his father. A father who had never known that he existed. Kate wasn't sure what she had been thinking. Secrets like this always had a way of coming out into the open. She knew that then and she knew now that it was on the verge of being revealed.

She sighed and carried her now empty coffee cup back into the kitchen and rinsed it out. She sighed and closed her eyes. She'd made some terrible choices in the past, but she'd tried to make amends for them. She walked over to the fireplace and took a picture from the mantle and looked at her son. He looked so much like his father. He even had the same smile. God. How had she made such a mess out of everything. Her children meant everything to her and she didn't know what she would do if he threatened to take him away from her. She knew that she wouldn't survive.

She wondered again for the millionth time if she should call her mom and ask her to watch Noah. Maybe it would be better. But better for who? Her? Noah? Noah's father? Kate sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She placed the picture back on the mantle and walked into the living room to grab her phone. She thumbed through the contacts and pulled up Rick's number. Before she could second guess herself, she hit the send button. She needed to talk to him before their scheduled playdate and she didn't want Samantha, Noah or Alexis around when they had this conversation.

Rick picked up the phone on the third ring. It was obvious that she had woken him, "H-hello?"

Kate smiled at the mental image she got in her mind. She'd always loved seeing him wake in the early morning hours. She knew she had lost herself in her thoughts when she heard him say, "Kate? Are you there or are you butt dialing me?"

Kate laughed softly despite her bad mood that morning. She sighed and told him, "We need to meet Rick."

Rick noticed the serious tone of her voice and said, "Where?"

"Do you remember the playground?"

Rick smiled, "The swings?"

"Yeah. Can you meet me this afternoon? At one?"

"Sure. Is everything okay Kate?"

Kate sighed heavily and whispered, "No, but..."

"But what?"

Kate shook her head, "Just meet me at the swings Rick."

Kate hung up the phone before Rick could respond and called another number. She told the unseen person, "Are you busy?" After waiting a beat, she continued, "I need to bring Samantha and Noah over. Is it okay? Don't ask. I really can't explain it right now mom. Can I bring them by?"

"Of course sweetheart. Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to guess?"

Kate shook her head, "I can't mom. There's something I have to do."

"Is everything okay Katie?"

"No and I don't think it will ever be again mom."

"What's going on Katie? You sound sad."

Kate sighed and closed her eyes and then told her mom, "I can't explain it mom. I owe someone else an explanation first. You remember what you said about Noah's dad?"

"Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?"

Kate simply told her mom, "You were right. It wasn't Tom. It couldn't have been."

"What? You were only seeing him.."

"No I wasn't mom. I only told you that because you liked him. There was someone else. Someone that I never told you about. What Tom and I had was on again off again. Mostly off again. We never even slept together."

"Then how is he Noah's father?"

Kate sighed, "He isn't..."

"What did you do Katie?"

That was a good question. She had hurt someone that didn't deserve it. For no other reason than she was stupid and selfish and now it was coming back to haunt her. All of her sins were going to be laid out in the open and she was going to end up hurting someone who didn't deserve it. She finally whispered, "I lied about Noah's dad. About everything. There was someone else and Tom and I broke it off because I was pregnant with another mans baby."

"Oh Katie...Does this other man know?"

Kate sighed, "No..."

"And you waited all this time to tell him. Why?"

That was the thousand dollar question. Why had she waited all this time to tell him about their baby? She finally told her mom, "I didn't want him accusing me of only being after his money..."

"God Katie...Who is this man?"

Kate shook her head and whispered, "I can't tell you mom. I need to find a way to fix this."

Kate heard her mother sigh and then Johanna said, "You might not be able to fix this sweetheart. You kept your son from him for almost four years. That's a lifetime and..."

"I know mom...I have to try though..."

"Bring them over. I want you to tell me everything when you're done with whatever mission you're on. I love you."

Kate felt her heart break a little at her mom's voice and whispered, "I love you to mom. I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one that you need to say that to Katie. You need to tell him and hope that it might be enough. Which I don't think it will be. What you've done Katie..."

Kate sighed. She didn't need a lecture from her mother about what she'd done. She knew that she had been so unfair to her son and to the man that was his father. She had no good reason for doing it either. She was just selfish. To be plain and simple. And she knew that Rick probably would never forgive her for keeping his son from him for the last three plus years. She just had to tell him and hope that he could find it in his heart to accept her baby boy as his son. She knew that he would never love her again and she could accept that, but she needed to let him know about their son. Because there was no doubt in her mind that once he saw his son in the park the following day he would know. The bright blue eyes would give it away and Kate didn't want to confront him in front of Samantha or Noah.

So, after she dropped them off at Johanna's house that afternoon, she hurried to the park and sat on the swings where they would often meet. She sat on the swings and closed her eyes. Replaying nearly every conversation that they'd had there together. This was where they admitted their love for one another. This was where they talked about everything and nothing. This was where they had ended everything. So, it seemed fitting that this would be the place where Kate would tell Rick about the son that he had never known about.

Kate watched as he walked over to her and sat down beside her. He smiled at her and asked, "What did you need to talk to me about Kate?"

Kate sighed and closed her eyes. Then she reached into her purse and took out a picture of her little boy. Noah looked nothing like her and everything like his father. She took a deep breath and handed the picture to Rick. Then she whispered softly, "I want you to meet your son..."

Rick was speechless and could only look at her in disbelief and shock. He said nothing, but looked down at the picture and he knew it was true. He looked at her and whispered, "He's not mine. He can't be mine. I..."

Rick refused to believe that the sandy haired boy in the picture was his. Even though his eyes were exactly like his own. Exactly like his daughters. He only looked at Kate and shook his head, "No..."

Kate nodded and whispered, "I'm sorry Rick..."

Rick could only stare at her in confusion and disbelief. Unwilling to admit that this miniature version of himself existed. He simply stared into space and said nothing for the longest time. Unable to give a voice to the overwhelming emotions inside of him. So, he stayed quiet and refused to say a word to her. He was so upset that he didn't dare utter a single word. Because whatever he wanted to say would end up possibly destroying everything and everyone forever...

_**I know this chapter and the next will be heavy on the angst, but the following chapters will feature more of Alexis and Sam...**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Okay, to say that I'm blown away by the response to this story would be an understatement. Thank you for all the alerts and follows. I appreciate them more than you can ever know...Just know that this is AU so everyone is acting out of character...**_

Rick could only look at her and whisper, "You're sorry? Do you even know how inadequate that is? How old is he Katherine? Three almost four? And you kept him away from me for his entire life. How could you do this to me? To us? It wasn't enough that you broke my heart all those years ago. Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant when you found out?"

Kate stared straight ahead and could only shake her head. Rick stood up and paced back and forth in front of her. She dared look at him and was struck by how mad he was. His face was red and he looked as if he would explode at any moment. Kate looked down at the ground and wished that it would open up and swallow her whole. Then she whispered, "I wasn't going to keep the baby. I was..."

She couldn't continue. She couldn't admit that when she first found out that she was pregnant that she wanted to have an abortion. However, by the time she made up her mind it was too late. She couldn't convince her doctor to perform the abortion. Then she heard her baby's heartbeat and she knew that she couldn't get rid of their baby even if she had wanted to. Then the day that changed everything happened and she saw the baby on the ultrasound and she fell in love with that tiny little being.

The day he was born was both the best and the worst day of Kate's life. She had wanted to call Rick so many times and tell him that he was going to be a father. She had picked up the phone and thousand times and a thousand times she had ended the call just before she hit the call button. Would he believe her? Would he even care that she was having his baby? So, in the end, she didn't call him. Didn't tell him about their son and she decided to spend the next three years raising Noah alone. She named their son Noah Alexander in honor of his father.

She had tried calling him the day that their son was born. She had left a message for him asking him to call her. Telling him that she had something very important to tell him. However, he never called her back. She tried again and again the message went unanswered. After a week, she gave up. Admittedly, she could have done more, could have tried harder, but she had given up.

She had spent the past three years regretting the decisions that she had made by herself. She sighed and whispered to Rick, "I tried to call you. I called you every day for a week."

"That's not nearly enough Kate. It's been almost four years. I've missed so much." Rick looked down at the picture that he held in his hand and he sat back down on the swing. He sighed and felt a tear slide down his cheek. He whispered, "I want to meet him Kate.. I deserve that much."

Kate nodded, "You do. Do you want to meet him before tomorrow? He's at my parents house right now. I can go get him and..."

Rick didn't have to think about it before he said, "Yes! I want to meet him..."

Kate nodded and chanced a look at him. Her heart broke at the sight of the man sitting next to her. He looked broken and she knew that she had done that to him. It was all her fault and she knew that even if he forgave her, she would never forgive herself.

Kate whispered, "You and Alexis can come over to my place for dinner. We are having cheeseburgers. They are Noah's favorite food."

"Mine too."

Kate smiled and said, "I remember. Look Rick, I want you to be part of his life. I always did."

He looked over at her and asked softly, "Then why did you wait until now? After all this time..."

Kate shrugged and whispered, "I was afraid."

"Of what?"

Kate looked down at the ground and whispered, "I knew that you didn't love me anymore and I was afraid that you would try to take him away from me to spite me. I'd already lost you. I couldn't stand to lose Noah."

"What kind of heartless monster do you think I am Kate? You are a great mother to Samantha. She's a happy well adjusted child. I wouldn't have taken Noah away from you then."

"But now?"

"I want to get to know him Kate. He's my son and he's my family..."

Kate nodded, "He doesn't know you though Rick."

"And who's fault is that Kate!? Not mine. No that fault lays squarely on your shoulders Kate! Damn you!"

Kate hung her head and whispered, "I'm so sorry Rick."

"Sorry isn't good enough this time Kate. I don't know if it will ever be enough. I don't know if or how I can ever forgive you for this. It was so monumentally unfair of you Kate. What you did..."

"I know...All I can do is try to make it up to you."

"What day was he born on?"

Kate took a deep breath and whispered, "April first."

Rick nearly lost it and he took a deep breath, "My birthday... We have the same birthday..."

Kate nodded softly, "Which is why every year on his birthday I wanted to call you..."

"And yet you didn't...God Kate, do you even know how badly you've hurt me? Do you even care?"

Kate gasped and whispered, "Of course I care Rick. Otherwise I would never have told you about this. About him. I could have pretended that he wasn't yours."

"But he is mine Kate."

She nodded softly, "He is."

"Why did you leave me without talking to me about why?"

Kate sighed, "Meredith..."

Rick did a double take and asked, "What in the hell does Meredith have to do with anything?"

Kate bit on her bottom lip and told him softly, "You wrapped your arms around me that last night before we made love and you whispered her name..."

Rick swallowed hard and whispered, "Oh God..."

"Yeah, so I knew then that you didn't love me. After we made love that morning, I kissed you goodbye forever and..."

"And?"

"And apparently that's when Noah was conceived. I was so hurt back then Rick..."

"It's still no excuse Kate. What you've done is so unfair. I loved you. I loved Sam...I would have, could have, loved our son..."

Kate hung her head in shame and nodded softly. Then she whispered, "Please don't take him from me Rick..."

"Do you actually think that I'd take him out of the only home he's ever known? I'm not that cold and heartless Kate..."

She wanted to say that she knew that, but she didn't know it. Not really. So all she could do was nod and say, "I want him to know you. Want him to know his father. I just don't know how to start."

"I do.."

"How?"

"We will start with dinner tonight and then we will get together tomorrow with our daughters. I will never forget what you've done, but maybe one day I will forgive you..."

Kate could only nod. She knew that the love that they had once shared was probably gone forever, but at least he wasn't going to try and take her son away from her. That was more than she could have hoped for. All she could have wanted. So, for now they would work towards getting father and son closer together. And maybe, just maybe they would build a bridge back to one another...

_**Sam and Alexis will be back in the following chapter. The next few chapters won't be so full of angst...Sorry, but the muse is ruling this story and she's angsty today...**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Okay, to say that I'm blown away by the response to this story would be an understatement. Thank you for all the alerts and follows. I appreciate them more than you can ever know...Just know that this is AU so everyone is acting out of character...**_

When Kate arrived at her parents house, she could the questions in her moms eyes. After hugging her children, she walked into the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table. She knew that her mom had a million questions for her. She also knew that her mom wouldn't ask for any details.

Kate sighed, "I told Noah's father about him."

Johanna's raised her eyebrows and asked, "And?"

"He wants to see him. He wasn't happy with me..."

Johanna nodded, "I figured that would be the case. I don't see how or why you kept this from him Katie. I know that your father wouldn't have forgiven me if I'd kept you from him..."

"I know mom. I don't know what I was thinking. I..."

"You weren't thinking Katie. Children need their parents and..."

"Please mom...I feel bad enough already..."

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad Katie. I'm just trying to make you see that he has every right to be mad. Do I know him?"

Kate shook her head, "Not really..."

"Katie...Who is it?"

Kate sighed, "You don't know him mom..."

"Katherine Houghton Beckett, don't play dumb with me. It's bad enough that you lied to everyone about who your sons father is, but you still keep doing it. When are you going to realize that you need to let people in?"

Kate shook her head, "I'm just scared mom..."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared that his father will take him away from me."

Johanna smiled and told her daughter, "He has no reason to. You are a wonderful mother. Both of your children are happy and safe."

"I know that, but I've made a mess out of everything. I should have been stronger and then none of this would have happened."

"Katie..."

Kate felt a migraine coming on. She rubbed her eyes and finally whispered, "Fine. His father is Richard Castle."

Kate had never seen her mother rendered speechless before. However, it was apparent that her revelation had done that. Her mothers mouth dropped open and she couldn't form any words. When she did finally speak she whispered, "The Richard Castle? My favorite author Richard Castle?"

Kate nodded and whispered, "Yeah mom. We were in love at one time."

"What happened?"

Kate sighed loudly and she knew that was a good question. Her mom asked, "Do you still love him Katie?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders and finally whispered, "I do, but it's ruined now. I ruined it when I kept Noah a secret for the past four years. What was I thinking mom? I cheated him out of his son and Noah out of knowing his father. All because I was afraid..."

Johanna didn't have an answer to that. All she could tell her daughter was, "You have to find a way to make it up to him."

Kate smiled softly, "I can show him the baby books and the videos."

Johanna nodded, "That's a start. Don't push him Katie. He's probably hurting. Just take it one day at a time."

Nodding, Kate walked back into the play room and watched his little boy playing with his sister. He had no idea that his world had just gotten so much bigger. He was not only going to be gaining a father, but another big sister. Her only hope was that he didn't end up hating her when he was older and realized what she'd done to him. How she'd kept him away from his father for such a long time.

Samantha saw her first and ran over to give her a hug. Kate smiled and hugged her daughter and then leaned down to wrap her son in a tight hug. Her little boy threw his arms around her neck and whispered, "Love you momma..."

Kate closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. She kissed his tiny head and whispered, "I love you to baby..."

Noah shook his head, "I not a baby momma..."

Kate laughed at her baby boy, "No you aren't. Are you two ready to go?"

Samantha and Noah nodded and Kate thanked her parents for watching them. Johanna hugged her daughter and whispered, "Everything will work out okay Katie."

Kate could only smile at her mom as she left their house and walked to her car. She buckled her son into his seat and smiled down at him softly. Samantha looked at her mom and asked, "Are you okay mom?"

"I'm fine sweetie. I'm just worried about some things.."

Samantha thought that it was because of her. She immediately told her mom, "I'm sorry about fighting with Alexis at school. I promise I won't do it again and..."

Kate smiled softly at her daughter, "It's not because of you sweetie. I've just got a lot going on right now and..."

"And I had to act like a brat and..."

Kate grabbed Samantha and hugged her tightly and told her, "My mood has nothing to do with you Sam."

"Promise?"

Kate smiled, "I swear. It's just some adult things. Nothing for you to worry about Sam..."

Samantha turned her head to the side and she looked at her mom silently. Kate could tell that she was trying to judge whether or not to believe her. Kate finally hugged her and whispered, "Everything is okay Sam. I promise. I do have a surprise for you guys though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Alexis and her father are coming over for dinner tonight. We are having cheeseburgers."

Noah heard this and said, "Yay! I love them..."

Kate closed her eyes tightly and had to swallow hard against the pain that filled her at her sons innocent words. Then she whispered, "I know sweetheart."

Kate saw her daughter looking at her again and she forced a smile onto her face. Samantha obviously knew that something was up with her mother, but decided not to push things. Instead, she told her mom, "I'll help you cook."

Kate reached over and took Sam's hand and gave it a squeeze, "I'd really like that. Thank you."

Samantha smiled at her mom, "You're welcome. Not that I mind, but why are we having them over for dinner?"

Kate smiled, "No special reason."

Samantha didn't really believe her mom, but simply stared forward. She still thought that she had been part of the reason her mom was so sad, but she knew better than to push it. She quietly listened to her mom as she told her what their menu was for that night.

Meanwhile, Rick was having a similar conversation with Alexis. He simply told her that they were going over to Kate's house to have dinner with Kate and her kids. Alexis was a smart kid and could tell that there was something that her father wasn't telling her, but her dad had a sad look on his face. It reminded her of how he looked whenever she would talk about her mom. So, Alexis was very quiet on the trip over to the Beckett household.

When they reached the house, Alexis smiled and tugged on her father's hand. He was simply standing in front of the door looking at it. Almost as if he was afraid to announce their arrival. After another minute of them just standing there, Alexis sighed and went ahead and knocked. Wondering once again why her father was being so silly about something as simple as knocking on the door to her friends house.

The door was thrown open by Samantha. The two friends had to remind themselves that they were supposed to be mad at one another. Alexis simply breezed into the house and went past Samantha. When she saw her friends little brother, she smiled and hugged him. She smiled and whispered, "Hey there squirt!"

Noah smiled up at her and exclaimed, "Lex!"

Alexis nodded, "Yep! It's me! Do you wanna go play trucks with me and Sam? We can leaving the boring adults here."

Noah nodded and took her hand and pulled her towards their playroom. Rick watched as his daughter interacted with his little brother. Not knowing that she was his little brother. He ached to tell her the truth, but he knew that he couldn't. At least not yet. Not until he knew where they stood and whether Kate was going to allow them both to be a regular part of his life. He laughed to himself at that thought. He wasn't going to give her that option. One way or the other, he and Alexis were going to be part of his sons life. Whether she liked it or not.

He walked into the kitchen and asked Kate, "Do you need any help?"

Kate was shocked at the almost kind tone of his words. It was nothing like earlier. She knew that he was still upset at her, but maybe they could work towards a kind of truce. For Noah if for nothing else. She smiled, "The burgers are almost done. Would you mind setting the table?"

Rick nodded and smiled at her, "I can do that."

Kate smiled at him softly. Then she shook her head at how normal this felt. Nothing about this situation could be considered normal. At one time, she could see herself making a family with Rick and Alexis. She had ruined that and she knew that it would be a cold day in hell before he trusted her again.

Meanwhile, Alexis and Sam were talking softly. Alexis asked, "Is your mom acting weird? Because my father is acting totally different from normal."

Sam nodded, "She's acting like a completely different person. She usually smiled all the time, but now she's sad. I think it's my fault. I think I took this whole thing too far Lex."

Alexis shook her head, "I don't think so. My dad has been acting weird, but it's a weird kind of weird for him."

Sam turned her head to the side and asked, "What does that even mean?"

"He's acting like he does whenever I mention my mom. I mean, whenever I go to visit her. Like he's afraid that he won't ever see me again. Which is dumb because he's my dad."

"That's weird."

"Does your mom act like that whenever you mention your dad?"

Sam shrugged and told her friend, "I don't really talk about my dad."

"Why not?"

"Don't really remember him all that much. Only from the pictures that my mom has."

"That's sad Sam..I can't imagine not knowing my father. He's great."

"I have my mom."

Lex reached out and hugged her friend tightly. Then she whispered, "I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry. I just want Noah to have a dad. Mom doesn't even have pictures of his father."

"Why?"

"She never really said. I think it makes her sad..."

"Dad's like that about my mom. Not that he's ever told me anything like that."

Sam laughed, "Parents sure are weird. Aren't they?"

Alexis nodded, "Yeah. I won't be like that when I have kids."

"Me either. I'm going to be the best mom ever."

"Me to. Come on..."

Samantha asked her friend, "What are you doing?"

Lex smiled, "Going to spy on our parents.."

"What? Are you crazy? Noah will give us away in a second!"

"No he won't..He fell asleep five seconds after he started playing with the trucks."

Samantha looked at her brother and laughed. Then she took her friends hand and they hurried out of the playroom. Knowing that if they got caught they were going to be in so much trouble. They made it out to the kitchen and smiled when they saw their parents talking with each other. They still seemed upset, but a little less than before. Her mom was smiling more and Lex's father seemed happy.

Alexis smiled at her friend and they bumped their fists together. To them, their plans seemed to be working. However, neither of them realized that it was only the calm before the coming storms.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam motioned with her head and the girls left the kitchen. Leaving Kate and Rick working together to get dinner ready. Rick finally turned to Kate and told her, "What's he like?"

Kate smiled, "He's a lot like you. He's curious about everything. He won't settle for a simple yes or no answer. There always has to be an explanation. A..."

"Story." Rick finished for her.

Kate smiled and nodded, "Yeah. He drives his preschool teachers crazy. He always asks why."

Rick smiled and he felt his heart break a little more. God he had missed out on so much in the past four years. Years that he could never get back. Years that would be gone forever.

Kate noticed his sad smile and she knew that he was thinking about the time that he'd lost. Even if he didn't say it. She had always been able to read his expressions. She took his hand and pulled him into the family room. She sat him down and walked over to where the TV was and grabbed a heavy book from the bottom shelf.

She sat down beside him and handed him the book and whispered, "I know it doesn't make up for the time you lost, but..." She opened the book to the first page and she watched as his fingers traced the name of their son. Noah Alexander Beckett. She couldn't read his mind, but she watched as he turned the page and studied each of the pictures from their sons life.

The first picture his finger stopped on was a picture of Noah as a newborn. He had only been six hours old when the picture had been taken. However, his eyes had been bright and clear that morning. Even as a newborn baby she could see that he was curious about everything.

Each and every picture caught his attention. He regarded each one with such loving emotion. It made her heart ache for him. What she had taken from him had been so unfair to him. It had been unfair to Noah also. The choices she had made had been so very selfish. She knew that now. What she didn't know was how she could fix this mess that she'd made of all of their lives.

She walked out of the room to finish making their dinner. She wanted to give Rick as much time as he needed with their sons baby album. She knew that it would never be enough. Could never be enough, but it was all she could do right now.

Kate wasn't sure how long it was before she felt his presence return to the kitchen. She chanced a look over at him and what she saw nearly broke her heart. It was obvious that he had been fighting off tears. She finally whispered, "I'm sorry Rick. I..."

He held up his hand and whispered, "Don't Kate... Don't say you're sorry again. Do you even realize how damn empty those words sound right now?"

Kate could only nod as she watched him fight with a million different emotions. She watched as his hands curled around the chair in the kitchen. She longed to go to him. Longed to hold him and tell him how sorry she would always be. However, she knew that her gesture would be unwelcomed by him at that moment. So, she could only wrap her arms around herself and she tried to find the words to bring him some comfort.

She finally whispered, "He likes lions and..."

"Really Kate? That's the best thing that you can come up with right now? That he likes lions..."

Kate sighed, "What else do you want me to say? I've already said that I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say or do to make this right."

Rick shook his head, "Did you ever think that there isn't a damn thing you can do to make this right Kate? You kept him away from me for almost four years and you think that by suddenly saying you're sorry it will magically make everything okay again? I don't think so Kate!"

Kate could only hang her head and whispered, "I know..."

"You know, if I was that kind of person I should take him away from you! Fight for custody of him. See what it's like to not see him again..."

Kate felt the fear clutch her heart, "No Rick...Please..."

She looked into his eyes. Eyes that were so familiar to her. He had the same eyes as their son. Eyes that could be tender and loving, but in moments like this, were stormy and conflicted. He turned around to look at her and then he whispered, "Despite how much I hate you right now, I could never take him away from you. Because unlike you, I believe that a child should have both parents..."

Kate sighed, "Rick I..."

Kate stopped because she didn't know what to say at that point. Sorry was so inadequate at this point in time. She led Rick into the family room again and pulled out a duffel bag and handed it to him. She knew that this wouldn't be enough, but it was a start. She handed the heavy bag to him told him, "These are for you."

Rick looked at them and asked, "What is this?"

Kate held up her hands and whispered, "It's not enough, but they are videos. Videos of Noah. I took them over his lifetime. I..."

Rick held up his hand to silence her. He took one of them out and read the writing on it. It was Kate's ultrasound video. He swallowed and whispered, "I can't take these...I won't want to give them back and.."

Kate shook her head, "They are for you. I made copies... I always wanted you to have them and.."

Rick was absolutely speechless at the kind gesture. He didn't know how to feel about it. Part of him was still incredibly mad at her, but part of him, part of him was wanting to ask her a thousand questions.

Kate and Rick were looking at each other. Neither talking, but simply staring at each other. Each wanted to say something, but neither knew what to say. The spell was broken when Alexis and Samantha came into the room. Both asking, "When is dinner going to be ready?! We are starving!"

Kate took a deep breath, shook her head and turned to face the girls, "Go get your brother and then you and Alexis can set the table. Then we will eat."

The girls both cheered and ran out of the room arm in arm and Kate smiled as Rick said, "I think they are happy."

"Yeah..."

"At least they are. What you've done is so unfair Kate. How do I get over this?"

Kate shrugged, "I know that I can't undo the past, but I want you to be part of his life going forward Rick. He deserves to know his father."

Rick nodded, "I'd like that. I'd like that a lot. I'm still so mad at you Kate..."

Kate swallowed hard and nodded, "I know and I know things will never be like they were, but..."

"But what?"

"Maybe we can make them better than they were."

It was then that Kate knew that she still loved him. She knew that she had no right to his love. Knew that he would probably never love her ever again, but she could make sure that Noah knew who he was and would make sure Noah was proud of his father. It was the least that she could do to make it up to try and make it up to him.

Kate smiled and told Rick, "Now Rick, go get your son and bring him to the kitchen."

Kate hadn't been sure that it was the right thing to say, but seeing his face light up when she said _your son, _told her that it was a beginning. And that maybe things would work out after all.

Kate watched as he hurried out of the living room and smiled softly. Every small step she took was a step in the right direction of bringing father and son closer together. Making Kate hope that some good could come out of this terrible decision she'd made after finding out she was pregnant with Rick's son.

Rick turned to look at Kate and seeing the small smile on her face cause him to smile. He knew that he would never forget what she had done, but he thought that he might be able to forgive her. At least one day in the future. Because he never should have let her slip away from him all those years ago. He should have ran after her instead of running away from her. He had been too upset and hurt after she broke up with him. He had gone away to lick his wounds. He should have ran straight towards her. Maybe if he had given her some hope then he would have known about Noah years ago. He couldn't excuse what she had done, but he would work to try and forgive her. He knew that it wouldn't happen anytime soon, but he would do everything he could to try and build a bridge back to her.

He realized with startling clarity that he still loved her. But as much as he loved her, part of him hated her. It was all so confusing. He saw his son sleeping on the floor, curled up with his toys and his heart jumped into his throat. He didn't know his son, but he felt such overwhelming love for this little boy that looked so much like him. God... He needed to get to know this little boy. Wanted to hear him call him daddy. Wanted it so very badly, but he would wait until the time was right. Until then, he would spend time getting to know his son. Knowing that he was embarking on a brand new and exciting adventure. An adventure that would last a lifetime...


	8. Chapter 8

Alexis looked at her friend and asked loudly, "Why did you grab my arm in there? Are you trying to blow everything?"

Samantha looked at her friend and whispered, "I didn't grab your arm. You grabbed mine and..."

"I did not. Look are you playing dumb or are you really dumb?"

"Don't you dare call me dumb...You, you big dummy..."

That was all it took before the girls started swinging at each other. Alexis tackled Sam and the girls started rolling on the floor. Pulling each others hair and trying to hit one another. They were screaming at the top of their lungs and they could be heard throughout the house. They stopped when they heard a voice ask, "What are you two girls doing? Are you trying to kill each other?"

Samantha stopped and looked up at her Grandmother and told her, "She called me dumb. I'm not dumb. She is!"

It was then that Alexis lunged at her friend and Johanna struggled to hold her granddaughter back. Then Johanna looked at her granddaughter and told her, "That's quite enough name calling young lady. What have I told you about fighting?"

Samantha crossed her arms over her chest and refused to answer. Instead she turned and stomped out of the room and headed upstairs. Her footsteps could be heard throughout the house and when she slammed her bedroom door the whole house shook from the force of it.

Rick and Kate walked into the kitchen and Kate sighed when she saw her mother standing there. She should have known that her mom would come over and try to get in the middle of things. Before Kate could say anything to her mom, Johanna held out her hand and said, "I don't know if you remember me or not, but I'm..."

"Johanna. You're Kate's mother. Although if I do say so myself you look much too young to be her mother. I would have thought that you were sisters."

Kate rolled her eyes, but Johanna simply smiled and laughed, "You flatter me Mister Castle. I.."

Rick interrupted and told her, "Please, call me Rick."

Johanna simply nodded, "Now if you will excuse me, I have to go find my granddaughter."

Kate asked, "What's she mad about now?"

Johanna put her hand on her mouth and shook her head. Alexis was sitting at the kitchen table. She had a very sad look on her face. Kate knew that whatever was making Alexis sad was probably the same thing that had upset her daughter. She trusted that her mother would take care of it. Before Johanna could leave the room, Rick asked, "Will you be joining us for dinner Johanna?"

Looking at Kate and seeing her imperceptible nod, Johanna agreed, "Yes. Jim, my husband and Kate's father, had to work late tonight. Which is why I'm here instead of at home."

Kate knew her mother better than that. She knew that her mom was checking up on her, but Johanna would never admit to such a thing. So, Kate walked over to the cabinet and took out another plate and reached for the silverware. She set another place for her mother. Shaking her head inside and laughing to herself.

Johanna walked upstairs and knocked on Samantha's door. She heard a muffled, "Go away..."

Smiling to herself, she opened the door and walked inside. She saw her granddaughter curled up on the bed and she went to sit next to her. She ran her hand on her back and asked, "What's going on my darling granddaughter?"

"Nothing."

Johanna laughed softly at her reply. She was just like her mother had been at her age. Strong. Independent and headstrong. Johanna shook her softly, "I know that's not true. Something has got you upset."

She heard Samantha sniffle and then she whispered, "We are messing everything up. It wasn't supposed to be real. We just wanted them to..."

Samantha stopped talking when she realized what she was saying and who she was saying it to. She clammed up and turned away from her grandmother. Refusing to say anything else. Johanna looked at her granddaughter and asked, "What are you two up to?"

Samantha shook her head and started to say something, but Alexis came into the room at the same time and whispered "We were just trying to get them together. I've always wanted a mom and..."

Samantha threw a throw pillow at Alexis and it hit her friend square in middle of her chest. Alexis looked at her friend and asked, "Why did you do that?"

"Because you can't tell her about it!"

"Why not?"

Samantha huffed out, "Because it will ruin everything. She will run and tell them and then we will be in even bigger trouble."

Johanna suddenly knew what was going on. Her granddaughter and her best friend were trying to get their parents together. What neither of them could know was that their parents had already been together at one time. It hadn't worked out then. Johanna wondered if it could work out now. It was obvious to everyone that Kate and Rick still had feelings for one another. They just needed a push in the right direction. So, Johanna whispered, "I happen to agree with you two."

Alexis and Samantha looked at her and they both asked, "You do?"

Johanna nodded, "Yeah, but I think the two of you are going about it the wrong way. What we need to do is..."

Johanna motioned for the girls to come in closer and then she started whispering her plan to them. The girls nodded and smiled up at her. When she was done talking, she asked them, "Do you think you can play your parts girls?"

Samantha and Alexis both nodded and they smiled at Johanna. Johanna took each of the girls hands and they walked downstairs together. Johanna knew that Rick and Kate belonged together, but she wasn't sure if either of them could see it. Could feel the love that surrounded them both. It was something electric and alive. There was one big thing standing in the way of them getting back together. And it took the shape of a three year old little boy named Noah.

When they walked back into the kitchen Samantha and Alexis both had frowns on their faces. Johanna told Rick and Kate, "After dinner I'm going to take the girls out for ice cream. Do you and Rick want to come Katie? Although it's probably going to be past Noah's bedtime and..."

Looking over at her daughter, she saw her looking at Rick. Kate smiled and told her mother, "I think we will stay here. Noah is going to need a bath before bedtime and..."

Rick rushed to say, "I'll stay with her. I mean she probably needs some help and..."

Johann held her hand up and smiled, "I understand completely. I just wanted to ask."

Inside, Johanna was smiling brightly and went to go help her daughter get dinner on the table. Johanna looked over at her granddaughter and smiled to herself. Her daughter belonged with Rick. Johanna had always wondered why Katie had refused to date anyone after Tom left her. She now knew the reason. Her daughter was still in love with the father of her son. However, looking at how far apart they were sitting from one another, it was clear that they had some huge hurdles to overcome.

All she had ever wanted was for her daughter to be happy. Katie had always claimed that she was happy, but a mother knows when her children were happy and Katie hadn't been happy in a long, long time. She was going to do everything she could to give her a real reason to smile again. Johanna had a feeling that that reason was the man sitting in her daughter's kitchen. And she was going to do everything she could to make them both realized that they belonged together. Despite what either of them had done in the past, they belonged together. And the sooner they bother realized it the better off they would both be...


	9. Chapter 9

After dinner, Johanna took the girls out for ice cream. Noah wanted to go with his sister and grandmother, but Kate tackled him and told him, "You need to stay here with me buddy."

Noah looked at his mom and asked, "Why?

Kate laughed at her little boy. He was so much like his father. Always asking questions and wanting to know the why about things. She tickled him and said, "Well, I want you to get to know my friend Rick better. Then, you need to take your bath and we will tuck you into bed."

Noah shook his head, "No bath..."

"Sorry buddy. You got more of your food on you than you got into your stomach." Her son started to protest again, but was stopped when Rick said, "How about if I teach you the rubber ducky song."

Kate and Noah both turned to look at him. Kate had a look of disbelief on her face and Rick asked, "Does he have a rubber duck?"

Kate nodded, "Yeah. He's afraid of it."

Rick smiled, "Go get it please..."

Kate nodded and walked out of the room. Then, Noah said, "Lexi?"

"Yeah, I sang the song to Alexis when she was little. It was her favorite song for a long time."

Noah looked like he was interested in learning about a song that his sisters friend knew. So, when his mom brought the toy into the room, he simply stared at it. Rick smiled at Noah and they walked together to the bathroom together.

Kate walked behind them. Wondering what he was up to. She watched as Rick filled up the tub and then undressed her little boy. She should have been jealous of him, but watching her son interact with his father, she couldn't feel even an ounce of jealousy. All she could think was that it was about time. She had wanted this for so long. There were so many times that she had wanted to call him up and tell him about his son. Maybe, just maybe they were on the road to recovery.

She smiled when she heard him start singing to their son.

"Rubber Duckie, you're the one,  
>You make bathtime lots of fun,<br>Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you;

(woh woh, bee doh!)

Rubber Duckie, joy of joys,  
>When I squeeze you, you make noise!<br>Rubber Duckie, you're my very best friend, it's true!

(doo doo doo doooo, doo doo)

CHORUS:  
>Every day when I<br>Make my way to the tubby  
>I find a little fella who's<br>Cute and yellow and chubby  
>(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)<p>

Rubber Duckie, you're so fine  
>And I'm lucky that you're mine<br>Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you.

(repeat chorus)

Rubber Duckie, you're so fine  
>And I'm lucky that you're mine<br>Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of -  
>Rubber duckie, I'd like a whole pond of -<br>Rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of you!"

By the time he was done singing the song, Noah was laughing and splashing in the bathtub. Her son had never particularly like bath time. However, having Rick there seemed to make it more fun for him. Noah splashed Rick again and asked, "More?"

Kate laughed at how much water Rick had on him. He looked like half of the bath water had ended up on him. Kate held out a towel to him and said, "It's time for you to get out of the tub my little water monkey. Then, maybe Rick will read you a bedtime story."

Kate's breath caught in her throat when father and son gave her an identical smile. It was almost enough to make her cry. She had to ask herself why she had kept this from him for all these years. She realized then that it was for no other reason than she selfishly thought that her son wouldn't love her if he had to choose between her or Rick. What she had failed to keep in mind was that there was more than enough love to go around.

She dried off her son and then she dressed him. Kate patted his bottom and told her son, "Brush your teeth buddy and then Rick will meet you in your bedroom."

Noah nodded and pulled his footstool over to the sink, Rick and Kate watched him as he put the toothpaste on the toothbrush all by himself. Kate smiled at the familiar routine of it all.

Rick seemed to be captivated by Noah's every little move. Things that Kate normally took for granted, seemed to be a miracle to Rick. She took a deep breath and whispered softly to Rick, "I'm so sorry. I've been so selfish. Not only to you, but to Noah."

Rick said nothing. He simply watched as their son rinsed off his toothbrush and hopped off the stool and put it away. Then their son did something that surprised both of the adults in the room. He reached out and took Rick's hand. It took his breath away and made Kate smile. She closed her eyes and whispered, "Oh..."

Kate had hoped for this day for a long, long time. Because as much as she feared it, she longed to see father and son together. It nearly took her breath away. Noah climbed into bed and Kate leaned down to kiss his forehead. Then, she told her little boy, "Goodnight sweetie. I love you."

Noah smiled up at his mom, "Night mommy. I love you."

Kate swallowed hard and told her son, "Rick's going to read you a bedtime story. Is that okay?"

Noah looked at Kate and then at Rick. Then he nodded and said, "Okay..."

Smiling, Kate walked out of the room to leave father and son alone. This was something that had been a long time coming. She had stolen enough of Rick's time with his son. She made a silent vow to them both that it would change now. Rick and Noah deserved to know one another. They needed a relationship and Kate knew that she would no longer stand in the way of that.

Kate busied herself with cleaning up the dishes from dinner. She wasn't sure how long it was before Rick came out to the kitchen. When he did, he was all smiles. He looked at Kate and whispered, "Thank you Kate."

Kate closed her eyes. He shouldn't have to thank her for what she did tonight. He should have been here all along. She hated that he made it seem like she'd done him a favor. Kate shook her head, "Don't thank me Rick. I don't deserve your kindness. What I've done to you. To Noah is so terribly unfair. To both of you. How do we go forward from here Rick?"

"I don't know. I guess we need to take it one day at a time. I just know that I want to be very involved in his life going forward. I want to, no I need to, be there for him. For all the good times and bad times. I want him to know that I'm his father."

That was when they heard a voice screech, "You're who's father!?"

Rick and Kate turned to see Samantha standing there with her hands on her hips. Her face was beet red and she was breathing heavy. Then she said, "I asked you a question. Who's father are you?"

Kate and Rick looked at each other and then Alexis stomped her feet and pointed at herself, "I know that you are my father, but that's not what you were talking about. Was it?"

Kate looked at her mom and Johanna swore that her daughter wished that the ground would swallow her whole. Johanna finally told her daughter, "You need to tell them."

"I can't mom..."

"Katie..."

Kate shook her head and wanted to run from the room. However she knew that she had done enough running and it was time for her to start acting like an adult for once. She took the girls hands and led them into the living room. She sat them down on the couch in front of her and knelt in front of them. Then she whispered, "I should have told you this a long time ago, but Rick is..." God this was so hard...She looked at Rick and then she felt his hand on her shoulder. He squeezed it softly and it gave her the courage to go on.

She closed her eyes and then looked at Alexis and told her, "Your father is Noah's dad Alexis."

Both girls simply looked at each other. Then, Samantha shook her head and pushed her way past Kate. Alexis looked at Kate and then at her father. She whispered, "No... You guys didn't even know each other until the other day and...No... How could you do this to us?"

All of the adults simply looked at each other as Alexis ran out of the house and slammed the door at the same time that Samantha slammed the door to her room. Kate flinched as Rick took off after his daughter. Leaving Kate and Johanna standing in the living room together. Wondering how things could get any better after the way Samantha and Alexis reacted to the news of Rick being Noah's dad.

Johanna hadn't known what to expect, but it certainly hadn't been that. She had been hoping that they could ease the conversation in that direction, but they walked in on Rick and Kate's conversation that night and Johanna knew that things had just gotten infinitely more difficult.

Walking over to her daughter, Johanna put her hand on her daughters shoulder and told her, "Give them time. They will come around."

Kate shook her head, "I screwed everything up. Rick and Alexis missed out on three years of Noah's life and now..." Kate took a deep breath and continued, "And Samantha and Alexis...They think we lied to them. I've made a huge mess out of everything."

Johanna hugged her daughter tightly and Kate collapsed in tears on her moms shoulders. Her whole body wracked with sobs and Johanna couldn't remember when she'd known her daughter to cry so hard.

Meanwhile, Rick was outside trying to talk to his daughter. Alexis was pacing back and forth. Talking to herself and throwing dirty looks at her father. Rick finally told her, "Would you just stand still for two seconds! Please?"

"Why? So you can lie to me some more. How long have you known that you were his father?"

Rick swallowed, "I just found out today Pumpkin."

"He's three. When did you and Kate meet?"

Rick took a deep breath and then told her, "Back when you and Sam had your first sleepover."

"How long did you guys date? Have you been seeing her this whole time?"

Rick shook his head, "We dated for about six months. She never told me about Noah. At least not until yesterday."

"Why?"

"It's complicated. But you need to know that I love you and that will never change. He's your brother and I want to get to know him better." Rick took a deep breath and asked, "Is that okay with you Alexis?"

"If I say no?"

Rick sighed, "I would hope that you would want to get to know him. But even if you say no I want to be a part of his life."

"What about Kate? Are you guys going to start seeing each other again?"

Rick honestly didn't know how to answer that question. Part of him still love Kate, but another part felt deeply betrayed by her. He just wasn't sure right now. So, he answered his daughter honestly or at least as honestly as he could, "I don't know Pumpkin. It's complicated."

Alexis nodded sadly and then headed to their car. She got in and slammed the door and refused to come out and talk to him anymore.

Meanwhile, Kate was dealing with the same thing with Samantha. However, Sam refused to talk to her mom. Giving her the cold shoulder the entire time. She finally pulled her blanket over her head and refused to come out.

Kate finally whispered, "I love you Sam. You know that right?"

Sam shook her head, "Why did you lie to me? About who Noah's father was... Why lie about it mom?"

Kate sighed, "I don't know Sam. I guess I didn't want your friendship with Alexis to suffer because of my choices. I was the one that messed up, not you."

Sam shrugged and whispered, "It's fine mom. Alexis isn't ever going to come over again. She probably hates me now."

Kate leaned down to hug her daughter. She laid down beside her and held her daughter while she cried herself to sleep. Kate had never hated herself more than she did at that moment. She had hurt three other people and for no damn good reason. Other than she was afraid of losing Noah. God, would her betrayal and hurting people never end. She cried along with her daughter and they fell asleep together.

When Kate woke, it was late at night. She had a major headache and her eyes were puffy. She walked downstairs and saw her mother sitting at the kitchen table. Johanna asked her daughter, "How is she?"

Kate shrugged, "She hates me. She thinks that I've ruined everything between her and Alexis."

"She will come around Katie. It's going to take them some time to get used to everything. Alexis is getting a brother and Samantha feels like she's losing her best friend. All of you need to spend time together. As a family."

"You make it sound easy mom."

Johanna shook her head, "It isn't, but I have a suggestion."

"Anything."

"Take everyone up to our cabin. Christmas break starts soon and it will be beautiful up there. The snow and the view will be amazing. You and Rick and reconnect and the kids can see what being part of each others lives is all about."

Kate chewed on her bottom lip and then smiled softly to herself. She hugged her mom and she knew that this was just what they needed. Two weeks to show the kids that the news they had just been given that night wasn't a bad thing. Kate grabbed her cell phone and called Rick. Wanting to tell him about her mothers idea. She honestly didn't know what she would do if he didn't want to go along with it. She could only hope that maybe this would work and that Sam and Alexis would come around and at least pretend to be happy about the news that they had thrust on them this evening. She had a feeling that everything was depending on it...


	10. Chapter 10

After her mother left for the night, Kate walked upstairs to her bedroom slowly. She felt as if she had aged a hundred years in the span of a few hours. She walked into her bedroom and sat in the middle of her bedroom. How had everything gone so terribly wrong? She hadn't meant to hurt Sam or Alexis. Hadn't meant to tell Alexis about her brother that way. She laid down on her bed and curled up in a ball. Falling asleep on top of her covers. Before she fell asleep, he last thought was of how much she still loved Richard Castle and wanted him back in her bed and her life. She just wasn't sure that was what he wanted.

Meanwhile, Rick was sitting in the living room of his loft watching the videos that Kate had given him of their son. A son. He had a son. It didn't take away any of the love that he had for Alexis. It could never do that. He loved his daughter with everything that he had. No, if anything, it magnified what he felt for his daughter. Made it stronger somehow.

It was then that he was struck with a sudden realization. He still loved Kate. Even after everything that had happened between them, he still loved her. He always had. From the moment he had met her. Even after she had left him. Kept the secret of their son from him. Everything inside him told him that he shouldn't love her. That he should hate her for everything she had done in the last few years. But despite everything telling him he shouldn't, he found that he really did love her. He could see himself raising Alexis, Samantha and Noah together. He could see them maybe having another baby a few years from now. Wow...Where did that come from? He wasn't even sure that she still had feelings for him. For all he knew, she was simply allowing him back in his life for Noah's sake.

He was determined to win her back and prove that he loved her. Despite everything that had happened in the past few years, he wanted her. He might be crazy, but he couldn't give her up. Despite there being a million reasons why he should give her up, he couldn't. His heart still wanted her. He still wanted her. He just wasn't sure that she wanted him. Their future was so uncertain. They needed to have a serious conversation about what they both wanted out of this new and unexpected relationship. He knew what he wanted, but he needed to know if she wanted the same thing. Because if she didn't want a relationship with him, he wasn't sure what their future was going to be.

Before falling asleep that night,he realized that he definitely still loved her. He just hoped it wasn't too late for them.

When he woke up the following morning, it was to the sound of a phone ringing. It sounded like it was very far off in the distance. He finally woke up enough to realize that he needed to answer his phone. He managed to croak out, "H-hello?"

He heard the sound of Kate's laughter come over the phone. She finally asked, "Did I wake you Rick?"

Smiling, he told her softly, "Just a little bit. I didn't get much sleep last night. I was too worried about everything going on."

He heard her sigh and then she whispered, "Me to. Look Rick, we need to talk."

"I know."

Kate continued, "I didn't want the girls to find out that you were Noah's father."

Before she could explain, Rick said, "So you weren't planning on telling them."

Kate gasped and explained, "No Rick. That's not what I meant at all. I just meant was that I didn't want them to find out like they did. I didn't want it to be thrown at them. I wanted them to get used to the idea and..Well, it seemed that fate had other ideas."

Rick laughed, "Yeah. It's out there now. So, what do we do about it?"

Kate smiled and told him, "My mom actually had an idea. I think it's a great idea, but I wanted to run it past you first."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Well, my parents have a cabin and well, it's very beautiful at this time of the year. Mom suggested that we take the kids up there and spend their Christmas break with them. Let them see that this isn't a bad thing."

"It doesn't have to be. It can be a very, very good thing. How is Sam taking all of this?"

Kate sighed sadly, "She's afraid that Alexis hates her. How about Alexis?

"She won't talk to me. She's barely said two words to me. I'm not sure how she's feeling to be completely honest."

"She's used to having you all to herself. Sam's had a brother for all this time. It's brand new to Alexis. It will take her time to get used to sharing you with someone else."

Rick automatically defended his daughter, "Alexis isn't selfish."

Kate laughed, "I didn't say that she was Rick. It's just going to take her time to get used to the fact that she has a brother. A brother that she didn't know anything about. I think she will warm up to all of this Rick."

Rick sighed and hoped that she was right. He didn't want to hurt his daughter in the process of getting to know his son. It was then that he decided that they needed this trip to her parents cabin. So, he smiled and told her, "I think that trip to the cabin sounds like a wonderful idea Kate. When did you want to leave?"

Kate smiled and told him, "Well, their last day of school is Friday, so how about if we leave right after school then?"

"That sounds like a great idea Kate. I just hope Alexis doesn't kill me before then. I really think she hates me."

That was when Rick heard, "I don't hate you daddy..."

Rick almost dropped the phone when he heard her say that. He opened his arms to his daughter and told Kate, "I need to call you back Kate."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later Rick."

She wanted to tell him that she loved him. That she had always and would always love him. However, she wondered if it was too soon. She knew that she had hurt him terribly and she was sure that he still held a grudge against her. So, she simply hung up the phone and went to get ready for the day.

Meanwhile, Rick held out his arms for his daughter and hugged his daughter tightly. Then he whispered, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me and Kate. I just..."

Alexis shook her head, "It's okay daddy."

"No, it's not. We didn't mean for you guys to find out this way. I wanted to get to know him and then I was going to tell you Lex."

Alexis smiled, "He's already like a brother to me dad. I've spend a lot of time over at their house."

"I know. You probably know him better than I do."

Alexis nodded, "I do. I just don't know why Kate didn't want us knowing that he was my brother. I thought she.."

Rick looked at his little girl and asked, "What?"

Alexis shrugged, "I thought she like me."

Rick hugged her tightly then and then told her, "It wasn't you Alexis. I'd done something to hurt her and well, she wasn't sure that I wanted him."

That was something that Rick wasn't sure that he would ever understand. He would have loved his son just like he loved his daughter. Would love Kate's daughter just the same. He had already been on the way to loving Kate's daughter when they broke up. It had seemed so very sudden and he had been so hurt. He hadn't loved anyone since Kate and he knew that he would always be in love with her. The heart wanted what it wanted and sometimes it wanted things that weren't meant to be.

He knew that Alexis was still looking at him and he smiled, "We are going to go to Sam's grandparents cabin for Christmas break. That way we can all get used to everything that's going on."

Alexis turned her head to the side and asked, "Are you and Kate dating now?"

"Not yet Pumpkin. Not yet."

Rick hoped that by this time next year the answer would be different, but for now, he would take whatever he could from her. Even if she only wanted to be friends in the end. He smiled at Alexis and told her softly, "What would you say if I told you that we are going to spend the next two weeks with Samantha, Noah and Kate?"

Alexis narrowed her eyebrows and asked, "You're serious?"

"Yep. Kate's parents have a cabin and well, we thought it would be a good idea for all of us to spend Christmas there. Getting to know each other better."

Rick could tell that Alexis wasn't quite sure about it, but she smiled and told him, "I think it would be nice. If Sam still wants to be friends with me though."

Rick hugged her tightly and told her softly, "She will come around. Besides, I don't think she's mad at you. I think she's mad at me and her mom."

Alexis gave him a funny look, "You're just trying to be nice to me. To make me feel better."

"Would I do that?"

Alexis laughed, "Yeah, but it's okay."

"Is it working?"

Alexis smiled, "Yeah it is. I love you daddy."

Rick smiled, "I love you to Pumpkin. Now, what do you say about going shopping with your old man? We need to get some Christmas decorations to take to the cabin."

Alexis brightened and hopped up, "I think that sounds awesome dad. Should we ask Kate about it?"

Rick thought about it for a second,but decided that he would keep it a surprise and told her, "No. It will be our surprise. For the Beckett's for Christmas."

Alexis smiled and reached for her father's hand. As they walked out of the loft, she was chattering happily the entire way downstairs.

Meanwhile, Kate was having a talk with Samantha. Her daughter was finally warming up to the news that she had gotten the night before. She had walked into her moms room and asked her point blank, "Are you in love with Alexis' dad?"

Kate had smiled at her daughters direct approach,but she smiled to herself. She finally told her daughter, "It's complicated."

Samantha knew that was adult talk and it meant that they didn't want to talk about it. So, Samantha smiled when her mom mentioned taking a trip to the cabin with Alexis and her father. She nodded and told her mom, "It could be fun."

Kate smiled and hugged her daughter tightly. She loved her son and daughter, but she was falling back in love with Rick. She only hoped that this time, they were strong enough to make their love last for the rest of their lives. She wasn't sure that her heart would survive losing him again...


	11. Chapter 11

When Kate, Samantha and Noah got to Rick's loft the morning that they were going to drive to the cabin, Rick and Alexis were waiting for them. Kate laughed at the looks on both of their faces. Alexis and Rick both wore the same matching smiles. Father and daughter were practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

Kate got out of her SUV and Samantha followed. Kate smiled at them and asked, "Are you two ready to go?"

The two Castle's both nodded at her and exchanged twin looks of excitement with each other. Kate suspected that there was something secret going on between them, but decided not to ask. Instead, she smiled as Rick grabbed their bags and loaded it into the back of the SUV. Kate watched as they loaded bag after bag into the back.

She laughed and remarked, "That's a lot of stuff for two weeks. Did you pack everything you own?"

Alexis smiled, "We got a..."

Rick interrupted her, "Ah, careful Alexis. We don't want to spoil it."

Kate laughed at the look on his daughters face. The redhead immediately stopped talking. For a moment, Kate thought she was upset, but then she noticed the huge smile on Alexis' face. That was when she knew that the Castle's were definitely up to something. Whatever it was it was apparent that it was important to the redhead. So, she decided that she would wait until they got to the cabin to ask.

Smiling, Kate watched as Alexis climbed into the SUV with Samantha. The two were talking non-stop and for now at least, they had forgotten all about the conflict from a few nights ago.

Once Rick had all of their bags loaded, he smiled at Kate and she asked, "Ready?"

Rick nodded, "Yep. I just wanted to say thank you Kate."

Kate did a double take and then asked, "For what?"

"For agreeing to this. For letting Alexis and I come and spend this time with you, Samantha and Noah. I know that she didn't show it the other day, but she really is excited about being a big sister. She was just worried."

"About what?"

Rick looked at the SUV and then back at Kate. It wasn't really his place to tell it, but he doubted that his normally shy daughter would say anything. So, he told Kate, "She is worried about Samantha not wanting to be friends with her anymore."

Kate looked at Rick and was shocked, "What? Why on earth would she ever think that? Samantha loves Alexis."

"She was afraid after finding out about Noah being Alexis' brother..Well, she didn't know if Samantha wanted to be friends with her anymore."

Kate was saved from having to say anything when they heard the loud laughter of both the girls inside the SUV. The adults both turned and looked and what they saw warmed both of their hearts. Alexis had her camera and was taking pictures of her and Samantha. Then, she took pictures of her, Samantha and Noah. Kate could tell that they were taking some serious pictures and then some silly pictures. Because the laughter just kept on going.

Rick reached for her hand and gave it a soft squeeze, then he asked, "Are you ready?"

With a final look and a smile at their daughters, Kate nodded and then tried to hand Rick the keys. He shook his head and told her, "I think it would be better if you drove."

"Why?"

He smiled and told her, "Well, you know the way. I would get us lost."

Kate smiled and then pushed the keys into his hands and shook his head, "I think you will do just fine Rick. I'll be right here giving you directions the whole way."

Rick turned and looked at her. He managed a small smiled and then he took the keys and nodded. That simple statement said so much, but he didn't want to read too much into it. So, he smiled and asked, "Ready?"

Kate nodded and gave his hands a final squeeze. There were so many things that she wanted to say to him. Things that she needed to explain, but she knew that they would have plenty of time in the next two weeks for that. For now, she was content to enjoy the company of him and his daughter.

For the first hour or so, the girls were talking excitedly. Then, the talking died down and stopped altogether. Kate looked back and noticed that they had fallen asleep. Noah however, was wide awake and Kate could only smile as she snapped a picture of their children. Wow. Were did that thought come from? However, Kate decided that she liked the way that sound. They didn't have his and her children. They were truly both of theirs.

She felt Rick's gaze on her and he asked, "What's wrong?"

Kate could only nod as she reached for his hand. She felt, rather than saw his surprise at the simple gesture. However, when his fingers wrapped around hers, she smiled and told him softly, "The girls are asleep."

"Noah?"

Kate laughed, "He's wide awake."

Rick could only smile as he kept his eyes on the road. There were so many things going through his mind at that moment. He thought back to the conversation that he'd had with Alexis a few days ago. His ever curious daughter had asked him if he was going to marry Samantha's mom. Rick had laughed and told her that they were a long way from getting married. That they barely liked each other, much less loved on another. That was what he told Alexis. However, privately, he had wanted to tell his daughter that he would love to marry Kate. That nothing would make him happier than to marry her and make her his wife. To be there when she woke up every day would be like something out of a dream for him. He had always wanted a family, but it had seemed just out of his reach. To give Alexis a mother, a real mother and siblings was something he had always wanted, but he'd never met the right woman. At least not until he met Kate.

When they had been together all those years ago, Rick had felt lost for the longest time. He'd felt something for her that he'd never felt for another woman. He hadn't even felt like this about his ex-wife. No. What he felt for Kate was so much more. So very real. He knew that he was in love with her. Probably had been since the moment that he'd met her. When she left without a word, he had shut himself off to the possibility of ever finding someone to love him. He had buried himself in his writing and decided that he would spend the rest of his life alone.

Seeing Kate at the book signing had been a good sign. A sign that maybe he could have that with her. Finding out that they had a son together, well that was unexpected, but no unwanted. Rick had always wanted to have more children, but he'd never found the right woman before Kate and she had ruined him for anyone else.

He was lost in thought when he did something impulsive. Something that made Kate's heartbeat pick up a bit. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it so very softly. He heard her gasp softy and he smiled when he looked over at her and saw the equal smile on her face. She whispered softly to him, "Rick...I.."

Rick could only smile and nod as he kept his eyes on the road. He had a million surprises in store for her and the decorations were only one of them. What he had in mind would change everything for both of them forever. He was going to ask her for another chance at love with him. He wanted her to know that he was, had always been in love with her. Even after all of the pain and heartache of the past few days. He had thought he would hate her, but nothing could be further from the truth. He still loved her and probably always would. He knew that now. He just wanted to work on winning her heart. One beat at a time...


	12. Chapter 12

When they arrived at the cabin it was late at night. The kids had long ago fallen asleep and Rick was drifting in and out of sleep. He knew the exact moment that they had reached the cabin. Because when they came within seeing distance of it, he heard Kate whisper, "What on earth?"

He was fully awake and said, "Do you like it?"

She stopped in front of the cabin and watched the lights twinkling. There were more lights than Kate had ever seen before. In addition to the thousands of twinkling lights, there were several inflatables in the front yard. Someone had even climbed onto the roof and put a Santa's sled on the roof. The lead reindeer even had a red nose.

Kate smiled and she asked, "How did you do this? How did you even know? How..."

Rick smiled and asked quietly, "Do you like it?"

Kate couldn't respond. She was too surprised to say anything. She simply nodded, "Yes, but how did you even know where the cabin was?"

Rick smiled and told her, "I might or might not have had a little help."

Kate shook her head, "My mother told you where the cabin was. Didn't she?"

Not sure whether or not she was mad at him, he hesitated and told her, "Maybe.. Look Kate, I didn't do this to make you mad. I was just trying to..."

It was then that Alexis woke up and asked, "Do you like it Kate? Daddy and I came up here last weekend and decorated it for you, Sam and Noah."

Kate smiled at the childlike excitement in Rick's daughters voice. Even if she had been truly upset, there was no way that she could have stayed angry at him. Not when all he had been doing was trying to make this time memorable for all of them. Kate finally turned to look at Alexis and told the little girl, "I love it Alexis."

Alexis asked in a quiet tone of voice, "Do you think Noah and Sam will like it?"

Kate noticed that her son and daughter were now wide awake. The two of them were quiet and staring at the lights. Then, Noah whispered with all the wonder of a three year old, "Pretty lights mommy."

Samantha could only nod and whisper, "They are pretty. Who did this mommy?"

Kate smiled and pointed to Rick and Alexis. Then, she said, "They apparently had help from your grandmother."

Rick nodded and whispered, "She was only too happy to help. Especially when I told her the plans that I had."

Laughing, Kate smiled, "I bet she was."

Then Alexis said, "Wait until you see the inside."

Kate turned to look at her, "The inside?"

Alexis nodded, "Yeah. We decorated the inside also."

Rick groaned and rolled his eyes, "That was supposed to be a secret sweetheart."

"Sorry daddy."

"It's okay pumpkin. Lets go inside and see the rest of the surprise."

Kate parked her SUV and then hurried to help Noah out. The little boy hurried up the steps of the cabin and waited for his mom to unlock the door. When she did, she turned on the lights and the place lit up inside. There were lights everywhere and they had even set up a little train set that went around the entire inside of the building. It would make stops at the North Pole station and would blow a whistle every so often.

In one corner, there was a huge Christmas tree. The biggest one that Kate had ever seen. There had to be almost as many lights inside as there were outside. The ornaments hanging from the tree were colors of purple and gold. It was something out of a storybook.

Kate felt her heart leap and swell with love at the sight over the fireplace. There were five stockings hung over it. On each one there was a name embroidered on it. Kate walked over and ran her fingers over each one. The first one that read Rick was green and so very soft. Kate could tell that it was as expensive as it was gorgeous. The one for Kate was a deep red with white trim. It was just as soft as the one for him.

Kate smiled at the ones for Alexis and Samantha. Alexis' had a picture of Cinderella and was the colored the lightest blue. Samantha's had Eeyore on it and in his mouth he held a candy cane. Kate laughed through her tears at the one for Noah. It had a picture of Mickey on it and the tops of the stocking had little mouse ears.

Kate turned to look at him with tears in her eyes and she whispered, "This is..."

Samantha looked at everything and told Alexis, "This is awesome Lex! I love it! Isn't it great mom?"

Nodding, Kate couldn't form a response. She could only look at the wonderful, wonderful man standing beside her. He had done all of this for her and her children. For no other reason that he wanted them to start building happy memories and start getting to know his son. Kate finally whispered, "This is amazing Rick. I love it."

The smile that he gave her was enough to light up a small city. He asked her softly, "You really like it?"

"I don't like it."

Alexis and Rick both turned to her and asked, "You don't?"

Shaking her head, Kate smiled and told them, "I love it. Thank you. This was more than I could ever have asked for. It's amazing."

Alexis smiled, "Your mom said that you would like it when she met us here and helped us pick out the..."

"Alexis..."

Alexis smiled and whispered to her father, "Sorry daddy."

Kate laughed and asked, "Why's it such a secret?"

"She wanted to do something nice, but she didn't want us to let you in on the secret. I was just supposed to tell you that the elves helped."

Rolling her eyes, Kate smiled, "That definitely sounds like my mom."

Walking over to Rick, Kate leaned in a gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. Then, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him. She felt him stiffen up and for a moment she thought that he was going to pull away. However after a moment, she felt him return the hug. Then, she whispered, "You are an amazing man Richard Castle. Thank you so much for making this such a special day."

She almost told him that she love him, but managed to stop herself just in time. She couldn't tell him that. At least not yet. She wasn't sure how he would take her telling him that. She felt that it was still too soon to say those three big words. However, she had a feeling that by the end of their time in the woods together. Saying I love you wouldn't be such a scary thing...


	13. Chapter 13

_**I want to thank everyone for all the amazing reviews. They are truly overwhelming and appreciated.**_

The kids ran upstairs to their bedrooms and Samantha led Alexis into the bedroom that they would share. The girls laughed excitedly and Noah tagged along behind them. Seeing his daughter interact with Samantha and Noah did something to Rick's heart. He had always wanted more children, but he'd never thought it was possible. He'd never found anyone that he had ever considered having more children with. All the women he had dated were more concerned with his money and fame. Not giving their hearts to him or his daughter.

There was a time that he thought he could make a life with Kate, but she'd broke his heart just like the rest of the women he had dated. However, unlike those women, she hadn't been concerned with his money or fame.

Noah curled up on the bed next to his sister and promptly fell asleep. Kate smiled and went to pick him up to take him to his room. Rick stopped her and whispered, "Let me do it. Please?"

Kate knew that this was the first of many steps towards gaining back his trust. Maybe once he learned that he could trust her, he could grow to love her again. Wow... Where did that come from? Because she knew that she loved him. She had always loved him. Probably always would love him. But after her betrayal she doubted that he would, or could ever love her again. Especially after the way she had left him and hidden his son from him for years. No. The best she could probably ever hope for would be him calling a truce between them. Learning to co-parent their son was probably the only relationship she could hope for with Rick.

Kate finally nodded and watched as Rick walked forward and picked up their son. Something in her chest tightened at the sight of him with Noah. She realized then just how selfish she had been to keep this from both father and son. Her son snuggled into his fathers chest and Kate had to wipe away a tear.

Thankfully the rest of the occupants in the house were unaware of Kate's unhappiness. She made her way back downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. She put a pot on the stove and walked to the fridge to grab the milk and poured it into the pan. While the milk was heating she looked out the window and sighed in sadness. There had been a time that she had truly believed that she had been in love with Rick. However, it all ended one January night.

She had fallen asleep and had been woken by her cell phone ringing. She kissed him goodbye and he mumbled one single word. The name of his ex-wife. She knew now that she had been pregnant when she'd left him, but at the time she was too emotionally heartbroken to allow him a chance to explain. Maybe if she had things would be different. He wouldn't have to fight to get to know his son. He wouldn't have to hope that someday Noah would know that Rick was his daddy. It was all her fault and she had to find a way to make it right. For both of them.

She heard Rick walk into the kitchen and he walked over to her and said, "Thank you."

Kate could only nod as she poured the milk into mugs and then stirred in the cocoa. She handed him one and whispered softly to him, "You shouldn't have to thank me for that Rick..."

He didn't know what to say, so he simply shrugged, "Maybe, but what else can I say?"

Kate didn't know what to say to that one. She wanted to cry. Wanted to scream. Wanted to do something to take away some of the ache in her heart. She finally whispered, "Why do you have to be so nice to me Rick?"

He could only shrug and he told her, "Because I'm not sure what else to say Kate. There are so many things that I want to say. Want to ask, but I don't know how to."

Kate took his hand and led him into the living room of the cabin and they sat down together on the couch. Kate sat her cocoa on the coffee table and turned to look at him. Then she whispered, "I am so sorry."

"For?"

Kate could only smile and then she shook her head, "You are a remarkable man Richard Castle. You know exactly what I'm talking about and yet you choose to act like it doesn't matter."

"Does it really matter? What's done is done and neither one of us can do a damn thing to change it. Even if we wanted to Kate. You made all those choices for the both of us."

Kate hung her head in shame and nodded sadly. Even if she didn't like to hear it, he was exactly right. Everything was her fault and there wasn't anything she could ever do to change it. She stood up, picked up her mug and walked into the kitchen. She threw out the contents and headed outside. She stood on the porch and let the tears fall freely.

She felt Rick's presence and then she whispered, "I wish I could go back and do it over again Rick, but I can't. I can't ever give you these years with Noah back. Ever. I was so unfair to you and to him. Hearing you thank me for allowing you to do something so simple as putting him to bed is..."

That was when Rick did something that she had never expected. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him. Then he kissed her squarely on the lips. Effectively shutting her up. She fought him for all of three seconds. Then she surrendered to his kiss. She moaned so very softly. Then he watched as her eyes grew big and she allowed his tongue to enter her mouth. The cold didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that he was kissing her once again. It was in that moment that she allowed herself to believe that he might still love her. Even after her terrible betrayal.

When she finally regained the function in her brain,she allowed herself to push him away and whisper, "You shouldn't have done that."

Rick could only ask, "Why?"

She shook her head, "I'm not good for you Rick. Sure, I'll love you for awhile, but I will eventually hurt you and I'm not willing to do that again. You'd be better off forgetting that you ever had feelings for me."

Rick laughed loudly, "I don't think I will ever be able to do that Kate."

"You need to..."

"Why?"

"Because..."

"No Kate. I let you get away once. I'm not willing to do that again. Never again. Our time together is all about a new start. That includes us. I want to love you again Kate."

"It's not safe..."

"You keep saying that Kate, but you can't believe that's true."

"I do Rick. I really do.. I..."

For the second time that night, Rick silenced her with another kiss. Everything inside her told her to fight her feelings for him. Fight the way that she felt about him. Fight allowing him to fall even deeper in love with her. However, when she heard him moan softly, she knew that she was fighting a losing battle. All she could do was allow herself to get lost in his kiss.

When they finally pulled away from one another, Kate whispered, "I don't deserve you Rick Castle."

Rick let his forehead rest on hers and then he told her softly, "Maybe or maybe not, but together we can learn to forgive and let our hearts fall back in love all over again. There was a reason why we fell apart."

"It was my fault. I let my emotions override my heart. I never should have done that Rick. For that I will be sorry. I've been so lonely without you Rick."

Rick smiled and whispered to her, "I missed you too Kate. There's a reason why I haven't dated anyone else in the past three years."

"We need to take it slow Rick. I want us to build a foundation for a relationship together."

Rick smiled brightly and whispered, "I can't ask for anything more. A dream come true Kate."

Kate turned her head to the side and asked softly, "How can you forgive me Rick?"

"I'm still mad at you Kate. I missed out on so much."

Kate nodded sadly, "I know and while I can't turn back the clock, I can make sure that you are there with us going forward. You are his father Rick and it's high time that he gets to know you as his father."

At her soft words, Rick felt a smile erupt on his face. He lifted her face up and kissed her softly one final time. She shivered with the cold and he whispered, "We should probably go inside."

Kate nodded and reached out to take his hand. Leading him inside the cabin, Kate heard the laughter of their daughters upstairs. She smiled and told him softly, "Thank you for agreeing to this. For decorating the cabin. It's all so very amazing Rick. You obviously love the holidays."

"I always have. Ever since I was a child. Christmas has always been the most magical time of the year for me. We never really had much, but Christmas was always a magical time of the year for me. Mother always made sure that. Very often, our presents were homemade gifts. I remember one year, I made mother a scarf. It wasn't very well made, but the way she reacted over it...You would have thought that it was bought at Tiffany's."

"It sounds beautiful."

Rick nodded, "It was. That's why I have always loved this time of the year."

Kate and her family had always thought that this time of the year was special. However, seeing it through his eyes, she could see the magic in it. They were brought out of their magical spell when the girls came running downstairs. The girls wanted to let their parents know that they were going to bed. Rick and Kate kissed them goodnight and heard them run back up the stairs.

Kate smiled and then told him, "I think it's time for bed."

Nodding, Rick smiled, "I'm going to stay down here for a bit longer. If you don't mind."

Kate shook her head, "I'll leave your bedroom door open. Night Rick."

He smiled, "Night Kate."

With that, she headed up the stairs and closed the door to her room. Wondering if maybe they did have a chance to be together after all...


	14. Chapter 14

_**I want to thank everyone for all the amazing reviews. They are truly overwhelming and appreciated. this give a bit of insight into Kate's mindset when she left Castle before Noah was born...**_

Kate tossed and turned in her bed for the next hour. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get to sleep. So, she grabbed her robe and headed back downstairs. She noticed that the light in the kitchen was still on. She smiled when she saw that Rick was still awake. She cleared her throat and asked, "Couldn't sleep?"

Rick shook his head, "No..."

"Everything okay?"

"I'm not sure. I've just been thinking."

"About?"

"Us. Where we went wrong? What happened to us?"

"Oh..."

Rick sighed and then told her, "We need to have a serious talk about what happened to us four years ago Kate. If we don't...I don't think we will stand a chance in the future."

Kate knew that what he was saying was true. What she didn't know how to do was tell Rick all about her feelings the when he'd said his ex-wife's name. She motioned with her head towards the living room and Rick followed along behind her.

Rick sat down on the couch and Kate sat on one of the recliners. She needed to be completely honest with him. She owed him that much. Even if it drove him away from her forever. He deserved nothing but complete honesty. So, she looked down at her hands and whispered, "It all started the morning after we made love for the last time."

Rick nodded, "It was right after Christmas."

Kate smiled, "In early January."

Rick remembered the night fondly. It had been the best night of his life. He had realized that night that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He had been prepared to raise Samantha as his own daughter. He had even told Kate that. He had seen the fear in her eyes, but he had assured her that everything would be okay. That he would love Sam just like he loved Alexis. He'd seen the doubt in her eyes at his words and he'd simply kissed her. As if kissing her could wipe away all of her doubt and fear.

Their lovemaking that night had been slow and tender. Rick would later wonder if she had been planning to say goodbye the entire time. It was almost as if she was saying goodbye in their lovemaking.

When they woke the following morning, Kate had been so upset with him. She had hit him and called him all kinds of names. Then, she told him that she never wanted to see him again. Never wanted to talk to him again. He'd asked her what he'd done wrong and she'd told him that he had called out the name of his ex-wife. He hadn't remembered doing it, but she was so mad at him that he supposed that it had to be true.

He had done as she wished. He hadn't tried to contact her. He had simply let her go. He loved her that much.

He finally whispered, "I loved you so much Kate. I wanted to raise Sam as my own."

"I know you did."

"But it scared you. Scared you so much and I don't even know why Kate. Why did me loving you both scare you so much?"

Kate sighed softly and wiped at the tears in her eyes. She had been terrified when Rick had told her that he loved her and wanted to make a life with her. The only other man that she had loved had left her shortly after they married. Granted it hadn't been his fault, but she had been so hurt emotionally that she had been afraid to give her heart to anyone else. She finally smiled at him sadly and whispered, "Because of Will."

"Samantha's father? What does he have to do with this?"

Kate looked up at the ceiling and then she cleared her throat and whispered, "I was so in love with him Rick. He was supposed to be my one and done. My forever after."

Rick nodded and whispered, "I know that he was killed shortly after Samantha was born."

"What you don't know was that it was my fault."

"How could it have been your fault? I thought he was killed during an undercover operation."

Kate sighed and then whispered, "He was, but only because he wasn't focused on the operation. I had called him that night and..."

"And?"

Taking a deep breath, Kate tried to explain how her guilty conscious had ruled her life for the last eight plus years, "He always told me to never, ever call him when he was out in the field. He said that it took his focus off of the job. I'd forgotten that he wasn't in the office. I called him to ask him about the menu for our Christmas dinner. He was killed that night. His partner said that he wasn't focused. That his attention was on other things. His partner blamed me for it."

Rick shook his head, "It wasn't your fault Kate. No one could have known what would happen to him."

"I know that now Rick, but.."

Rick shook his head and asked, "What does that have to do with me?"

"I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone. Before or since. I think I even loved you more than I loved Will. It scared the hell out of me Rick."

"So you were looking for an excuse to run. Is that what you're saying Kate?"

Kate shook her head, "Not exactly. I wasn't planning on running. At least not until I heard the rumors."

"What rumors?"

Taking a deep breath, Kate told him, "I heard that you were getting back together with Meredith. That you had been seeing her secretly for months. Months that we were keeping our relationship a secret. I wondered if you wanted to keep us a secret because you really wanted her back and you didn't want to ruin your chances at getting back together with the mother of your daughter and..."

"Stop right there Kate..."

Kate realized that she was crying even harder then. Rick forced her to look at him and then he told her, "Meredith leaked that little tidbit to the press. Her latest movie was coming out that year and she needed publicity. And what better publicity than getting back together with her ex-husband and the father of her daughter. I hadn't even seen her for three years. Then I get asked for a comment from a damn reporter. It blindsided me when I was asked that."

"So, so it wasn't true? It was all a lie cooked up by Meredith and...I believed...Oh God..."

Kate ran out of the living room and hurried up the stairs. She had been so foolish. She believed the rumors about him and Meredith. It was apparent that it was all a lie cooked up by his ex-wife. A lie that she had believed. A lie that she hadn't bothered to ask him about. She looked at herself in the mirror of her parents bedroom and she didn't like what she saw. She hated the person that she'd become. What kind of heartless monster would keep a son away from his father? Even if she had been scared of opening her heart again, she should have trusted Rick more.

She looked up again and pounded her fist on the dresser and then, before she knew what she was doing, she punched her reflection in the glass. Shattering the glass and cutting her knuckles in the process. She didn't even feel the pain as she watched the blood drip from her skin. All she could think about was how unfair she had been to Rick and to Noah. She didn't deserve the love of either of them. She wondered if Noah would be better off with his father. Wondered if he would be better off being raised by someone better than herself.

She heard Rick come running into the room and then heard him say, "What the hell Kate?"

He started to come near her, but she shook her head and moved away from him. Then she told him sadly, "Don't feel bad for me Rick. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything from you. If you knew what was good for you, you would run far away from me and take Noah with you."

Shaking his head, "You're a good mother Kate. Samantha and Noah are happy children and.."

"And I don't deserve it. Any of it. What I've done to you is so unfair and all because I didn't trust you enough to ask you about the rumors."

Kate sat down on the bed and looked away from him. She didn't want to see the shame and pity in his eyes. She stared down at the floor and watched as the blood dripped from her hands onto the hardwood flooring. She didn't even care that it might leave a permanent stain there. She didn't care about a damn thing at the moment.

Rick whispered, "Kate you're bleeding. Let me take care of your wounds and.."

Shaking her head, "No! Stop being so damn nice to me Richard Castle! I don't deserve it and I don't want it. Look, this trip was obviously a mistake! You are welcome to stay here. Get to know your son and then at the end of the trip I want you to take him. Take him to live with you and Alexis. Hell! You can even take Samantha. She's better off without me. They both are and..."

Rick knew that she didn't mean what she was saying. He knew that she loved her children and that she would do anything for them. However, no matter how hard he tried, she wouldn't stop talking. So, Rick did the only thing he could think of to stop her rambling. He kissed her. Hard.

She pushed him away and then slapped him. She shook her head and whispered, "No! Get away from me! I don't want you and I don't love you. I'm no good for you or for anyone else."

"Bullshit Kate! You're the most extraordinary woman I've ever known."

Kate laughed harshly and told him, "No. I'm nothing special. I'm just a woman that's screwed up everyone's lives because of my own selfishness. I was afraid of loving anyone again Rick. So, the first chance I got, I ran. Without giving you a chance to explain it. I didn't trust you, didn't trust our love. Because I was in love with you Rick. So, so in love. So much so that it scared me. I..."

Rick gathered her in his arms and hugged her so very tightly. Then he kissed her forehead and whispered, "I know Kate. Lets learn how to love again. Then..."

Kate shook her head, "I don't want you to love me Rick. I'm no good for you or anyone else. I..."

"Stop it Katherine Beckett! Did you make a mistake? Yes. Did you hurt me? Yes. Can I ever forgive you?" Kate looked up at him and waited for his answer. He knelt down in front of her and forced her to look at him. Then, he whispered, "I am already starting to forgive you."

"How can you forgive me Rick? What I did..."

"I can't answer that Kate. Knowing the story helps take the sting out of what you did..."

"I hear a but in there."

Rick smiled softly at her, "But I love you."

"How can you still love me. I didn't trust in our love and..."

Rick took her hand and whispered, "I don't want to think about the past Kate. We can't change it. All we can do is learn from it and grow from it. I want another chance to win your love."

"I don't deserve your love Rick..."

Rick shook his head and told her, "Let me be the judge of that Kate. Let me show you that love doesn't have to be a scary thing."

"I don't want you to die Rick. I..."

That was when he knew that was what Kate had been afraid of. That by loving her he was putting himself in danger. That by allowing him into her heart, she could somehow cause his death. It was totally unfounded, but he realized that she definitely feared it. It was also then that he realized that she blamed herself for her husbands death. A death that she couldn't have possibly caused or been responsible for.

Rick shook his head and told her softly, "You can't hold yourself responsible for what happened to your husband. It was the responsibility of the criminal that killed him. Not you. I.."

Kate started shaking her head once again. She was still so afraid of loving him. Afraid that the ghosts of her past would come back to haunt her. Taking him away from, not only her, but from his daughter and son. She couldn't do that to Alexis or Noah. Then Rick told her, "The last time I checked you weren't God or the devil. You can't kill someone."

Kate laughed softly, "I do have a gun and..."

Rick smiled at her laughter, "Yes, but you wouldn't kill me on purpose. Would you?"

Kate laughed, "Not unless you really make me mad and.."

"The point is Kate I could have been killed any number of ways over the past four years and it would have had nothing to do with you. Any time we take a step outside we can be killed. By man or by nature. If we don't take a chance on love then we miss out on something wonderful."

"And I'm wonderful?"

Rick nodded, "The best chance of a lifetime. I've missed you Kate. I've missed holding you at night. Missed the sounds you make when we made love and..."

Kate moaned softly and looked in his eyes and whispered, "I've missed you..." She swallowed hard and asked him softly, "We have so much time to make up for. How do we do it?"

Smiling down at her, "We start one day at a time. There is one thing we need to do though."

"What's that?"

"We need to clean up this blood and bandage your hands. It's going to hurt in the morning and..."

Nodding, Kate made her way into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. She looked down at her hands and wondered if things could be as simple as Rick thought. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't possible, but somehow she couldn't. She couldn't tell this wonderful man no again. When all she wanted to do was hold him all night long and make her heartache go away for good. She knew that it was a long shot, but she sensed that Rick was on the way to forgiving her. She hadn't thought that it was possible, but maybe his heart was bigger than she ever thought possible. She had always known that his heart was huge, but he was proving just how big of a heart he had. A heart that could forgive her for all the wrong she had done in the past. She just hoped that she was worthy of him trusting his heart to her. She would do anything she could to prove to him that she deserved the trust he was giving her now. She only hoped that she was up to the challenge...


	15. Chapter 15

_**I want to thank everyone for all the amazing reviews. They are truly overwhelming and appreciated.**_

KaKate watched as Rick gathered up the bandages and other supplies he needed to bandage up her knuckles. She watched him while he worked and she couldn't stop smiling at how careful he was with her. He took the time to clean her wounds carefully and so very gently.

When he was done, he kissed the tips of her fingers and whispered, "There. All done. Do you think you can sleep now?"

Kate shrugged and whispered, "It won't be the first time that I've gone without sleep. I can do it again."

Rick only hesitated for a brief moment, before he helped her up and walked her into her bedroom. He pulled back the covers and helped her lay down. She looked up at him and whispered, "Thank you Rick. For everything."

He smiled softly at her. Before he could second guess himself, he leaned down and kissed her forehead and told her, "Get some sleep Kate."

She smiled up at him and closed her eyes. Rick turned to walk out of the room, but stopped when she whispered, "Can you lay down with me?"

"Kate..I don't think that's a good idea. I..."

Kate shook her head, "Just to hold me while I sleep. Please?"

Rick closed his eyes and even though he knew he shouldn't, he couldn't seem to ignore the pleading tone in her voice. He sighed and walked over to the bed and climbed in beside her. Before he could second guess himself or what he was doing, he draped his arm around her waist. She put her hand on top of his and laced her fingers in between his. He felt her sigh and then he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Opening his eyes the following morning, Rick turned over and noticed that the other side of the bed was empty. He sat up in bed and hurried to use the bathroom. After her was done, he walked downstairs and heard the unmistakeable sound of the kids laughter.

He walked into the kitchen and saw that Kate was currently helping the children make pancakes. Well, at least she was helping Alexis and Samantha. Noah was currently sitting on the floor playing with an empty mixing bowl and a wooden spoon.

Rick laughed at the sight of them and said, "I hope you weren't going to let me sleep through breakfast."

Kate, Alexis and Samantha all looked up at him and smiled. Then Kate told her, "Of course not. We would have woken you up. Eventually."

Shaking his head, Rick walked over to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup. He stood close to Kate and asked softly, "How's your hand doing?"

"It's sore."

Rick nodded and went to the kitchen cabinet and rummaged around until he found a bottle of ibuprofen. He took out two of them and handed them to her. Along with a fresh cup of coffee, "Take these."

For a brief moment, Kate thought about telling him no, but she decided that she kind of liked him taking care of her. It had been a long time since she'd had someone else that cared about her. Thinking back, she remembered that the last man to do it was Rick. She realized once again how damn foolish she had been. How on earth could he ever forgive her?

Rick looked at her and whispered, "Stop thinking so hard Kate."

Kate turned away from him and went back to the pancakes. She didn't want to look at him. Didn't want him to read her. He was so damn good at that. He seemed to be able to read her mind. She knew that was crazy, but he did it somehow.

She put the last two pancakes on the plate and told everyone, "Breakfast is ready guys! Lets eat!"

The kids all cheered and headed towards the table. Kate told Rick, "Can you put Noah in his booster seat? Please?"

Rick nodded softly and Noah reached out to take his hand. The sight of Rick and Noah holding hands made Kate's heart skip a beat. Seeing father and son together like this made her smile, but it also made her sad. It shouldn't be like this. It should have been like this from the moment that Noah was born.

Looking over at Kate, he saw the sad smile on her face. He walked over to her and whispered in her ear, "What's wrong Kate?"

"Seeing you with him. It's a beautiful thing Rick. I..."

Rick shook his head, "No looking back remember. We are going forward."

"How am I supposed to do that Rick? How am I supposed to just forget about everything I've done to you? The things I've done to you Rick...I can't forgive myself or what I've done. I..."

Nuzzling her neck, he kissed her softly, "Stop it Kate. If I can find it in my heart to forgive you, then you have to find it within yourself to forgive your actions of the past Kate. That's the only way that we will ever be able to move forward Kate."

Kate nodded softly and whispered, "It's so hard."

"I know, but I believe that it will be worth it in the end Kate. I want to move forward with you. I realized that last night Kate."

"What are you saying Rick?"

"I want to find a way back to each other Kate." Looking over at their children, Rick whispered, "I want us to eventually become a real family. I don't want you to be afraid of this again Kate. I want you trust in our love."

Looking over at him, Kate whispered, "I'd like that also. I'm still afraid, but.."

"But?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Kate whispered, "But I love you and I've never been quite so happy as when I was with you."

Rick sucked in a deep breath and asked, "what changed your mind?"

Kate swallowed hard, "A lot of things, but falling asleep beside you last night made me realize that I can't run from my feelings for you any longer."

That was when the Samantha said, "Mom! Where are the pancakes? We are starving here!"

Kate laughed softly and told him, "I think the natives are hungry."

"You think so?"

Nodding, Kate picked up the platter of pancakes and Rick went to the fridge and grabbed the milk and juice. They all sat down and ate their breakfast together. When they were done, Rick told Kate, "I'm doing the dishes since the ladies of the house cooked."

"You don't have to do that Rick."

Samantha nudged him and whispered, "He's offering mom!"

Kate laughed and then the three girls hurried out of the kitchen. Kate stopped long enough to grab Noah and they hurried out. Rick listened to them giggling as he turned to start doing the dishes. He laughed to himself and shook his head. For the first time in a long time he realized that this was want he truly wanted. A family and he wanted it with Kate.

That thought stayed with him for the entire time that he did the dishes. After he was done, he walked out to the living room and saw Noah sitting on the couch coloring. Rick swallowed softly and got down on his knees beside him. Then he asked, "Can I color with you?"

Noah nodded and handed Rick a green crayon. When he started to color the sky with it, Noah giggled and told him, "The sky isn't green."

"It isn't?"

Giggling some more, Noah told him, "No! The grass is green and the sky is blue!"

"Oh! Thank you for letting me know. You are so smart!"

"My mommy says that to."

"Your mommy's a very smart lady."

Noah simply looked at him and smiled. Then father and son sat in the cabin coloring for the first time in Noah's young life. That was how Kate found them over an hour later and her heart soared and she smiled brightly. It was a wonderful thing to see and she realized then that this trip was the best thing to ever happen to all of them. It was bringing them together as a family for the first time and for that Kate would always be grateful for.

Rick looked up at her and smiled and she couldn't help but return the smile, "Rick I..."

That was all she got out before she heard the door to the cabin open and in walked the last two people she would have ever expected. Her mother and father were here at the cabin. Together. Oh this couldn't be good...


	16. Author's Note-Please Read

Redoing this chapter. It just seemed terribly off and I honestly wasn't satisfied with it. Working on fixing the horrible mess that the former chapter was... New chapter to follow soon...


	17. Back on Track

_** Oh and just to say that I didn't cave to any of the reviews. As a writer I have to stand by what I like and I honestly didn't like the way that chapter ended. It felt forced and I needed to change it for myself and no other reason. I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone, but I have to be true to myself.**_

Before Kate could talk her parents, Samantha came running down the stairs. She called out, "Grandma!"

Then she threw her arms around her and hugged her tightly. Johanna looked at her granddaughter and told her softly, "I need to talk to your mother."

Samantha nodded and then hugged her grandfather. She took his hand and led him into another part of the cabin. Her grandfather looked at her and asked, "Why did you call us Sammy?"

Samantha sighed and told him, "They aren't getting along grandpa. I heard them fighting in their room last night and I just knew that the only person to help was grandma."

Jim Beckett gave his granddaughter a stern look and told her, "Samantha Jo...You know that this is an adult thing and.."

"I know, I know, but grandpa, they are going to ruin everything and grandma knows what we are trying to do and.."

Jim shook his head, "There are things that you don't understand and this might just be one of those. Look, your mom and Rick have to work these things out for themselves. You and Alexis can't interfer in this. It just doesn't work like that."

Samantha shook her head and put her hand on her hips and told him, "No! We've worked too hard at this and.."

Samantha turned away from her grandfather and stormed out of the living room. She stomped upstairs and slammed the door to her bedroom. That left Alexis, Rick and Noah downstairs with Jim. Jim sighed and then told Rick, "I'm not sure what these girls have been up to, but..."

Rick smiled, "I think I know. I think this is some kind of strange Parent Trap situation. We've been set up."

Jim laughed, but then he asked Rick, "Do you love my daughter?"

Rick didn't hesitate before he said, "I do. More than I've ever thought possible. But..."

"But what?"

"I'm not sure if that's enough. She's been hurt in the past and it's been hard on her."

Jim nodded and smiled, "I think you're just the man to make her forget what happened in the past. To show her that living for the future is much better."

Rick smiled broadly and knew that he couldn't agree more with Kate's father. However, he also knew that no matter how much he might agree with him, there wasn't anything that he could do about it until he changed Kate's mind.

That was when he heard Kate and Johanna arguing in the kitchen. Alexis had gone back upstairs to be with her friend. Leaving him and Noah alone with Kate's dad. Rick didn't want him to hear the fighting, so he decided to take him outside to play in the snow. After he had him bundled him up, he told Jim, "I'm going outside with him. Let Kate know please."

Jim nodded and walked into the kitchen to join his wife and daughter. The two women were currently involved in a heated argument. Kate looked at her mom and told her, "I can't believe you and dad just showed up here! And to find out that you set this all up! How could you mom?"

"I was just trying to help Katie. You and Rick belong together. You have a son together Katie and.."

Kate held up her hands, "We don't need you meddling in things mom. We are perfectly capable of doing it on our own."

Johanna raised her eyebrows and motioned to her daughter's hands and asked, "I that working thing out Katie?"

"Mom..."

"Johanna, maybe we should just go..."

His wife turned to him and told him, "No! Look Katie, I know that you're upset at me, but I wasn't trying to hurt you or Rick. I just want you both to be happy."

Kate massaged her temple and sighed. She knew that he mother meant well. She finally told her mom, "I know mom. I know..."

"Look we will turned around and go. We shouldn't have come and..."

Kate shook her head, "No mom. It's okay. I'm sorry I got so mad. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just been hard."

"Are you and Rick fighting?"

Kate smiled, "No mom. In fact we are finding our way back to each other again mom."

"Really?"

"Really. I think I love him mom and I think he still loves me. At least that's what he said."

Johanna smiled, "That's a good thing. Just don't rush things sweetheart. Rick's a good man. And Noah is lucky to have him for a dad."

"He is. I just wish I had seen it all those years ago and..."

Johanna shook her head and told her daughter, "Stop living in the past Katie. Neither of you can change the past. All either of you can do is move forward and try and give Noah the two things that he needs to most."

Kate huffed out softly, "And what's that mom?"

Johanna smiled, "A loving family for both of you. For Alexis and Sam. The two of you need to sit down and talk about this. Don't blame one another and for God sakes don't yell and scream at one another. Because you two are good at making a mess of things. It's time that you start talking like grown adults."

Kate nodded and smiled as she walked over to the window and watched the scene unfolding outside in the snow. Rick and their kids were having what looked to be a huge snowball fight. Although Rick wasn't able to throw many snowballs. It was mostly the kids throwing their snowballs at him. She covered her mouth and laughed while she watched him 'try' to run away from their children. Their children. Why did that thought fill her with unexpected warmth? Instead of the dread that it had instilled in her years ago.

She wiped her eyes and the cute scene outside and laughed a watery smile. Then she turned to her mother and whispered, "It should have been like this from the beginning mom. Noah and Rick should have gotten the chance to bond with one another. God...What have I done?"

Johanna walked over and hugged her daughter tightly and then told her, "Learn from this Katie. That man loves you."

"I know. I just don't know why."

Johanna shrugged her shoulders and whispered, "Love just is Katie. You can't question it. Look, at your dad and me? Who would've thought that I'd end up with him?"

Kate turned to look at her mom and asked, "What are you talking about mom? You and dad were meant to be."

Johanna laughed, "Do you realize that I turned your father down when he asked me out on a date?"

Kate heard a laugh and then she heard her dad say, "More than once even."

Jim Beckett walked over to his wife and pulled her to his side. He kissed the top of his wife's head and whispered, "I knew we were meant to be. I just had to convince your mom of that fact."

Kate looked at her parents and wondered why she hadn't heard that story before. Maybe it was just meant to be. Kate looked at her parents and then smiled as she grabbed her coat and headed outside to join the rest of her family playing in the snow...


	18. Chapter 18

Much later that afternoon, they headed back into the cabin. Rick and Kate smiled at each other as they worked to get the kids changed out of their wet snowsuits. Kate helped the girls and she left Noah in Rick's capable hands. They worked in silence and the girls headed downstairs to get a snack.

Kate walked off in search of Rick and Noah. She found them in Noah's bedroom. Her little boy was snuggled up against Rick. She smiled when she realized that their son was fast asleep. Rick was simply laying there with him. Looking down at him and he looked as if he was afraid to move. Kate cleared her throat and asked, "Everything okay?"

He only nodded. Then he looked up at her and whispered, "I don't want to wake him up. I..."

Kate knew that something was bothering him. So, she asked gently, "What's wrong Rick?"

She watched as he swallowed hard and then he whispered, "We need to talk."

Nodding, Kate smiled and told him, "Lets go downstairs."

They managed to make it through dinner and getting the girls to bed. Her parents excused themselves and headed off to bed. Leaving Kate and Rick alone for the first time all day. Kate made them a pot of coffee and they each poured themselves a cup.

Walking out into the living room, Kate decided that she needed to start the conversation. So, she took his hand and whispered, "I've done so many things wrong Castle. I know that I don't deserve it, but all I can do is ask for your forgiveness."

Kate watched as Rick looked down at his lap. For a moment, she wondered if he was going to get up and leave her. She knew that it was no less than she deserved though. He finally took her hand and told her, "I should be so angry at you Kate. What you did was so monumentally unfair. Not only to me, but to Noah and to some extent to Samantha and Alexis. I missed out on so much of his life Kate. I've always wanted more children. To keep him away from me..."

Looking at him she saw his eyes fill with tears. To know that she had done that to him filled her with such a sense of self loathing that she wondered if she even deserved his forgiveness. She certainly didn't think so. She sighed and told him softly, "I can say that I'm sorry a million times, but it won't change what I did. I can't go back and undo everything."

Nodding, he whispered, "Despite that, I find myself wanting to love you again. We had something great once Kate. I always believed that we were destined for great things."

"I was so scared back then Rick. I loved you, but I wasn't sure that it was enough. The sex was.."

"Amazing."

Kate laughed when he finished her sentence. The physical relationship between them had always taken her breath away. After she had broken things off with him, she wondered if that was all that there was between them. Sitting here now though, she knew that there was so much more to their love. She had never found anyone else that made her feel the way that he had.

Taking his hand once again, Kate whispered, "I want to know if it's possible for us to start over again. I know that I can't recover the past four years of his life, but I can let you be there for the rest of it. I'd like a second chance at love with you Rick." Looking at the expression on his face, Kate wasn't sure what to think. Maybe she had lost her shot and the only thing they had a chance of was parenting Noah.

Finally after what seemed like hours, Rick smiled and told her softly, "I'd like that Kate."

Rick had no doubt that they could be great together. He would never forget the time that she had kept her away from Noah, but he could never live in the past. He had continued to love her even after she had left. Honestly, he knew that he would always love her. He looked at her and whispered, "We need to take it slow. We don't want a repeat of last time."

Kate nodded. Their previous relationship had been all about the sex. There hadn't been time to really get to know each other. Everything about their relationship had been kept secret. Kate smiled and whispered, "I want to take it easy, but I'm not going to hide my feelings for you this time. I love you Rick. I always have. I always will."

Kate stood up and walked over to the window and looked outside. She knew, without a doubt, that she didn't deserve another chance with this wonderful man, but she hoped that he would give her another chance. She'd been so unfair to him before. She wanted to prove that she was worthy of his love and being in his life.

She felt his arms wrap around her and she leaned back into his touch. Then she sighed and whispered, "Why didn't I trust our love Rick?"

He kissed the top of her head and shook his own. Then he told her softly, "I don't know Kate, but we are getting what most people don't."

"What's that?"

Rick smiled and turned her around, "A second chance."

Then he lowered his head and his lips found hers in what was possibly the best kiss that she'd ever received. She moaned loudly and she moved to deepen the kiss. They only pulled apart when the need for oxygen became paramount. Kate panted heavily and then whispered, "Wow..."

Rick rested his forehead on hers and they looked in each others eyes. There was a spark that passed between them. It was just like when the first met. It was magical. Kate knew that she didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve a second chance, but she was glad that he was willing to give it to her.

Kate leaned forward to kiss him again, but was stopped when they heard Noah start crying. Kate turned to go to him, but was stopped when Rick smiled and told her, "Let me get him."

Kate shook her head and told him, "Lets do it together."

"That sounds like the best idea you've had in a long time."

Rick knew that they were far away from getting back to where they were,but they were back on track and he knew that it was only a matter of time before they were great again. Of that, Rick had no doubt.

When the got upstairs they were met with an almost hysterical Noah. Kate noticed that he was covered in sweat and going to him, feeling his forehead, Kate became immediately alarmed. Then she told Rick, "He's burning up Rick! We need to get him to the hospital."

Rick nodded and headed out of their sons room. Kate made a quick stop and knocked on her parents bedroom door. She told her parents about Noah and she hurried downstairs and Rick hurried out to the SUV and buckled Noah into his car seat. Kate took off for the hospital and prayed the entire way there.

They pulled up to the ER and Kate threw it into park. He scooped up Noah and hurried behind Kate into the hospital. They walked up to the nurses desk and Kate told the first nurse she saw, "Our son is burning up.

Taking one look at the sweaty little boy in his fathers arms, the nurse sprang into action. She called for an orderly and hurried over to where Rick was standing. She took Noah from him and told his parents, "Wait here please!"

Then she disappeared behind the doors of the emergency room. Leaving Kate and Rick standing there holding onto each other. Both of them fearing for the life of the son and hoping to here any news about his condition.

Kate finally whispered, "He has to be okay Rick. We can't lose him. He doesn't even know that you're his father yet. He won't ever know..."

Rick held her while she cried and whispered, "We will tell him Kate. He will be just fine. You'll see."

Kate nodded and allowed Rick to lead him over to a chair in the waiting room. Waiting to hear any news about their son...


	19. Chapter 19

_**Yeah, so this chapter is a bit angsty. Just know that I've never, ever killed anyone, or at least no one that didn't deserve it. Trust me, everything will work out and I know exactly where this will go...**_

The wait seemed to take forever. Kate and Rick held each other while time crawl to a stop. Kate kept looking at the doors to the emergency room. She kept wondering why no one was coming through them to give them news about their son. Was he okay? Were they able to bring his fever down? So many unanswered questions were running through her head.

Finally after what seemed like forever, Kate saw a doctor emerge from behind the door. Then she heard her ask, "The family of Noah Beckett?"

Kate shot up out of the chair and flew to her. She told her quickly, "I'm his mother." After taking a deep breath she told her, "And this is his father."

Their sons doctor simply nodded at her and then she took a deep breath and told them, "I'm not going to lie to you. Your son is a very sick little boy. When he was brought back to us, his temperature was over one hundred and three. Has he been sick recently?"

Kate shook her head, "No. He's always been very healthy."

Nodding, "Well we are doing a complete blood count and we have him hooked up to an IV. We suspect that he has an infection. Possibly in his kidneys. We won't know for sure until all of the tests come back."

Kate nodded and asked, "Can we see him?"

"Of course. He's sleeping right now, but I'll take you back there. You can spend the night with him."

Rick looked at her and asked, "Can we both stay?"

The doctor nodded and smiled softly at them. After leading them back to their sons room, the doctor went to the nurses station and grabbed Noah's file from the desk. She sighed and closed her eyes. Then her head nurse asked, "Did you tell them what you suspect?"

She shook her head, "I don't want to alarm them in case I'm wrong."

"Do you think you're wrong?"

Looking down, she read over the preliminary results of Noah's bloodwork. She'd asked the lab to rush the results. Her patient had an extremely high white blood cell count and his red blood cell count was barely on the charts. Doctor Parnell had seen this before and it was never good news for the patient.

Sighing, she told her nurse, "No. Unfortunately I don't think I'm wrong. I wish to God that I were though." She looked back in the direction of her patients room and sighed. This wasn't the reason why she had gone into medicine. She had wanted to heal people and while she had done plenty of healing, she had also had her share of having to deliver bad news to her patients families. However, this kind of news was the worst possible that a family could ever receive. She knew that maybe, just maybe the second round of results would come back with positive news. If the second round of tests came back like she supposed that they would, there would be many more tests for Noah Beckett. None of them were very pleasant and they were somewhat painful.

It was days like this that she regretted ever going into the medical field. Sometimes, the heartache outweighed the good she did. Sometimes, it was all she could do to keep going. She wanted to walk out of the hospital, but knew that it wouldn't change the outcome for her littlest patient. So, she called her best friend and set up an appointment for her to come and evaluate her newest patient. She knew that Karen would be gentle with Noah's parents. There was a reason why Karen was the best pediatric oncologist in the state. She was wonderful with both her patients and their families.

She smiled when Karen answered the phone saying, "You do realize that it's nearly three in the morning Tara."

Smiling, she told her friend, "I need your expertise. I have a new patient."

She heard her friend sigh and whisper, "Shit...I knew that it couldn't be good news. Nothing good ever happens at three in the morning..."

They finally hung up and the doctor headed into another patients hospital room.

Meanwhile, Kate and Rick were sitting beside their sons bed and looking at one another. One hand stroked her sons arm and the other held only Rick's hand tightly. Neither of them spoke, they simply watched as the son slept.

When Noah finally woke, Kate noticed that his normally clear eyes were foggy. She could tell that he wasn't feeling well. He still had an extremely high fever. Kate wished that there was something that she could do to help him. She had no idea what was wrong with him, but she hoped that the doctors could make him better and then they could take him home.

Neither parent had any idea of the extremely long and rocky road that lay ahead of them.

Later that morning, Karen Darby walked into the hospital and met with her best friend to go over the test results for Noah Beckett. What she saw filled her heart with dread. When she saw the results from the second tests, she knew that there wasn't any time to waste. She hugged her friend and then walked in the direction of her newest patients room. She needed to break the news to them.

Walking up to the door, she took and deep breath and walked into her patients room. She heard laughter coming from inside and she knew then that she was going to change their lives forever.

Kate and Rick were laughing at their son and the funny faces he was making. Kate could tell that she was still feeling sick, but he was laughing a little bit more.

When they heard the door to the hospital room open and they turned to see who was coming into the room. When Kate saw another doctor coming into the room, she sighed and tightened her grip on Rick's hand.

Karen walked over to her patients parents and introduced herself, "I'm Doctor Karen Darby. I'm a pediatric oncologist."

Rick smiled at her and held out his hand, "I'm Noah's father Richard Castle and this is his mother, Katherine Beckett."

Nodding, she smiled and smiled at their son, "And this must be Noah." The little boy nodded at her and gave her a thousand watt smile. So, she continued, "I'm very glad to meet you Noah Beckett. How are you feeling?"

The little boy shrugged and gave her a weak smile, "I'm okay, but my bones hurt."

Karen nodded, "I'm going to try and make you feel better. I'm going to talk to your mommy and daddy and then we will see what we can do to make you feel all better. Okay?"

Noah smiled and nodded, "'kay..."

Rick and Kate didn't know what to make of this newest doctor. She was obviously used to dealing with children. That much was evident in the way that she talked with Noah.

Finally, the doctor turned to Rick and Kate and told them softly, "Doctor Parnell called me early this morning. She got the results of Noah's preliminary complete blood count."

Rick looked at the doctor and asked, "What's wrong?"

She looked at Rick and Kate and told them, "There' no easy way to tell you this." She took a deep breath and told them as softly as she could, "I believe that Noah has leukemia."

Kate gasped loudly and Rick felt as if his heart had stopped. He was the first to recover and asked, "How will you know for sure?"

"We need to perform a bone marrow test and a lumbar puncture. Those two tests will tell us what our next steps in the process will be."

Kate whispered softly, "Will he be in pain?"

Noah's doctor smiled at him and then she shook her head, "Not during the test. We will give him medicine that will put him to sleep. Then we will take a sample of his blood marrow and bone. Then she lumbar puncture will give us an even clearer picture of what's going on in Noah's little body. Then we will know how to go about treating him."

Kate couldn't bare to say anything, but Rick asked, "W-what are his chances of surviving?"

"Well, we caught it early and that's a good thing. If he responds well to treatment and there's no reason to believe that he won't, I believe that his chances of surviving this are remarkably well. He's young and it relatively good health, so I'm not seeing any potential problems. However..."

Kate and Rick both looked at her and asked, "What?"

Their sons doctor smiled and then she said, "Well, it's customary that we get bone marrow samples from immediate family members. That way if we have to do a bone marrow transplant we can get a good idea of family members to look to."

Kate and Rick immediately agreed and it was arranged for them to have the necessary tests done. Before his doctor left the room, she smiled at Rick and Kate softly and told them, "I wish the news was better. I will do everything I can to make him better."

Then she smiled and walked out of the room. Leaving the devastated family to deal with the news that they had just been given. Kate turned to Rick and fell into his arms and cried silently. Rick's tears fell also and they held each other while their world collapsed around them.

Neither knew then that Karen Darby would be a huge Godsend and the key player in bringing their son back to health and in doing that, it would bring Rick and Kate closer than they had ever been before...

_**Please don't hate me or kill me. I promise this will have a happy ending. So, yeah, I'm gonna go...over there...**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Okay, so I knew that writing about this subject was controversial, but it's my story and I'm going to write it. My best friend of almost 20 years had something like this happen to her. Her son was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 4. Everyone in our lives were tested to be a bone marrow donor. None of us were a match,but it brought awareness to the fact that thousands of people could be helped if people would sign up to be a donor. I for one have been a registered bone marrow donor for over 10 years. I'm looking forward to the day that I'm called to donate.**_

_** If you are interested in becoming a bone marrow donor, go to be a match dot org Remove the spaces and put a period in there. The tests are simple. A mouth swab and you are put into a database. You could save someone's life. That being said, no one is forcing anyone to read this story. Yes, childhood leukemia is a scary thing, but so is child abuse and child murders. **_

_** This will be the last time I say this, don't like, don't read. That's what the little red x in the top right hand corner is for. As for me, I'm not planning on changing this story to suit anyone. Read it or don't read it. As long as I'm having fun writing I will continue writing what and how I want. 'K? K...**_

The next morning found Kate and Rick on the phone with their families. Martha promised Rick that she was on her way to the hospital. Jim and Johanna Beckett were also called and asked to come. They wanted to tell everyone at once so that it was less painful for everyone involved.

After that was done, Kate called the police commissioner and informed him that she would need to take a leave of absence. She briefly explained the situation to him and her boss was sympathetic and told her, "I will let everyone know."

"Thank you Sir."

"Oh and Captain Beckett?"

"Yes?"

"I will ask that the officers and detectives at the other precincts are given the time off that they need to see about being tested as a match. Should it be needed."

Kate swallowed hard. She finally managed to choke out, "Thank you Sir."

Commissioner Gates smiled and told her, "Anything. You are one of our best Captains. You need to concentrate on getting your son better."

"Thank you Sir."

With that, Kate hung up and walked into the room where her and Rick's family had gathered. Kate looked at her daughter and brought her close to her. She held her tight and nearly started crying. This trip definitely wasn't turning out like she had hoped, but she was glad that Rick was here with her. She honestly wasn't sure that she could have done it on her own.

She took one look at her family and she lost it. She put her face in her hands and started crying. Rick squeezed her shoulder gently and whispered, "We have some news about Noah."

Johanna asked, "Is he okay?"

Martha looked at her son, "What's wrong?"

Rick looked at everyone and finally managed to tell them, "Noah's sick." He found it hard to continue, but knew that he needed to. So, he told them, "He has leukemia."

He knew that he had stunned everyone. They were completely silent and Johanna, Jim and Martha all looked shocked. While Samantha and Alexis looked confused by the way that the adults were acting.

Finally Samantha asked, "What's leukemia?"

Kate had finally regained her composure and went to sit by her daughter. She didn't want to scareher daughter, but she knew that she needed to give her some answers. She took her little girls hand and told her softly, "It's a kind of disease. It's in his blood."

Samantha asked softly, "Can't they give him something to make him all better? Like a shot or something?"

Kate shook her head, "I'm afraid not sweetheart. It's a little bit more complicated than that. See, this kind of disease it destroys all of the healthy white blood cells and then they bad ones take over. As well as not growing properly, these white blood cells also grow very quickly in Noah's bone marrow, then they spill out and crowd his bloodstream. Soon there isn't enough room for his other blood cells to grow, so then they don't work properly either. This causes all kinds of problems."

Kate watched as Samantha's bottom lip quivered and then she asked, "Is he going to die?"

"The doctors are going to do everything they can for him. They want all of us to get tested and see if we are a match."

The adults all agreed to be tested and then Jim asked, "What odds are the doctors giving him?"

Kate smiled at them, "Well, Doctor Darby, that's his pediatric oncologist, said that since we caught it early his chances are good. They are going to perform a few tests to give them a better picture of everything going on in his body. Then she will know what steps to take next."

Alexis and Samantha watched as their parents and Grandparents talked about everything. Neither girl understood exactly what was wrong with their brother, but they could tell that it was serious. Alexis took Sam's hand and walked out of the room. Then she told her, "I want to be tested."

"Me to, but.."

"But what?"

Looking at their family, Sam said, "They will probably tell us that we aren't old enough."

"Yeah."

"It's not fair. We are almost eleven and if we could help him..."

"They probably won't even listen to us."

Sam shook her head, "We need to make them listen to us. I mean, he is our brother."

Alexis smiled at her friend and took her hand and led her back into the room. She walked over to her father and told him, "Sam and I wanted to be tested dad."

Rick smiled down at his little girl, "I don't think that's a good idea pumpkin."

"Why?"

"Well, you both are young and..."

That was when Rick and Kate heard a voice say, "As long as they are healthy and have your consent I see no reason why they can't at least be checked to see if they are a match."

Rick and Kate turned to see Doctor Darby standing behind them. The woman walked into the room and shook hands with the other adults. Then she turned to them and told them, "I know that this is very scary, but I am willing to answer any questions that you might have."

The next hour or so was spent answering the various questions that the adults had. In the end, it was decided that everyone in the room would be tested. When the question of insurance came up, Kate told the doctor, "I have insurance, but I'm not sure if it covers everything."

Rick broke in and said, "Whatever insurance doesn't cover I will."

"I can't ask you to do that Rick. I..."

"You're not asking. He's my son to Kate. Let me share some of the burden of this."

They turned to look at each other and then Kate whispered, "Fine."

Doctor Darby smiled at the couple and then said, "I stopped by to see Noah. He seems to be feeling a little bit better. He was asking for something to eat and his fever seems to be coming down."

Kate looked at her and asked, "Is that good news?"

"It is. While he's not out of the woods yet, it is a good sign. I want to set him up for the biopsy's for later today. I've also requested that the blood bank here in the hospital stay open a bit later than normal."

Kate and Rick looked at her and asked, "Why?"

The doctor smiled, "Well, it seems that we have almost three hundred men and women in blue waiting and demanding to be tested as a possible match for your son. I spoke with one of them and they said that they are just the first ones to come. That others will come after shift change."

Kate had never been rendered speechless before in her life. Until now that is. She looked at the doctor and said, "Police Commissioner Gates said that she was going to put the word out."

Doctor Darby smiled, "And if no one turns out to be a match, we will have many potential donors that can possibly save the life of someone else in the future. Lets just hope that one of them is a match for Noah. Now, lets see about getting Noah some ice cream. What's his favorite flavor?"

Kate smiled and told her, "Mint chocolate chip."

The doctor nodded and hurried off to get him some ice cream. Rick looked at her and whispered, "That's my favorite flavor to."

Kate smiled at the man that she had loved once. There were so many things that Rick and Noah had in common. She wasn't sure what she had done to bring Rick back into their lives, but whatever she had done, she was grateful for it. She looked at Rick and whispered, "I know. We should probably head back to Noah's room. I'm sure he's wondering where we are."

Rick nodded and they all headed to his room. When they got there, they couldn't help but laugh. Noah was surrounded by other boys and girls of various ages. Some of them had short hair and others had no hair. They were showing Noah their different toys and talking to him and making him smile.

Doctor Darby came up behind them and told them, "Sorry. The other kids found out about him and well, they wanted to come and say hello. I hope you don't mind."

Kate asked, "How did they find out so quickly?"

Doctor Darby smiled, "Word travels fast here among the youngest of our patients. Once one kid finds out about it, well, the rest just naturally gravitate towards them. It's like their own private clique. Noah will find love and support from them."

Kate looked offended and said, "We can give him that."

Doctor Darby smiled at Kate and told her softly, "I know you can, but these kids are all going through their own cancer journey and they all know what his journey is going to be like. No one, not you or his father will ever be able to comprehend what lies ahead for him." Looking over their shoulder at the children sitting around the bed with Noah. It was obvious that the little boy didn't understand what was going on,but it was also clear that he was loving the attention. Doctor Darby continued, "These kids have their own language and it's clear that they have accepted Noah as one of them. They will be able to give him strength when you and his father are having a hard time hanging on. These kids are stronger than most adults give them credit for. Just because they are young, it doesn't mean that they are helpless or clueless. Trust me Kate, this is a good thing. Think of it as an extra support group for Noah and your family."

Watching their son interact with the children, Kate found that she couldn't be upset. The oldest of the children, a girl that appeared to be about Samantha's age, was holding a big fluffy teddy bear. She was making it talk and when she was done, Noah was left giggling and the little girl, a stranger until ten minutes ago, leaned down and hugged Noah tightly. Then she walked over to Kate. The girl turned her head to the side and asked, "Are you his mother?"

Kate smiled at the girl and told her, "I am."

"Cool. I'm Elizabeth,but all my friends call me Beth."

"I'm Kate and this is Noah's father Rick."

Beth smiled and said, "I know who he is. My mom loves his books. She reads them whenever I'm getting a treatment. They make her smile."

Kate had a feeling that it was a good thing. Then, Beth said, "Do you mind if we take him to the play room? We have some cool toys there. Plus, we always want to initiate new members."

"Initiate?"

"Yeah. It's very cool. We give them a hat and we sing a bunch of songs. Then they are given their club badge. What kind of leukemia does he have?"

Doctor Darby stepped in then and said, "We don't know yet Beth. He's going for his biopsy today."

Beth nodded and then told Kate, "I have acute lymphocytic leukemia or ALL."

"How long have you been battling yours Beth."

Beth smiled, "I'm a long timer. I've had it since I was six."

"You haven't been cured?"

Beth shrugged, "You're never really cured. I've gone into remission now. My mom brings me to visit and meet the new kids. I've been in remission for a year now."

Doctor Darby smiled and told Kate and Rick, "Beth is just one of my many success stories." Looking at the little girl, "Maybe you can tell Kate and Rick about it later."

Beth nodded and smiled at the doctor, "I'd love to."

Kate smiled as she watched the little girl, a girl not much older than her own daughter. She had been through so much in her young life. She found herself longing to learn more about this little girl. However,before she could ask any questions, Doctor Darby was hurrying them out of Noah's room. Telling the children that it was time for Noah's tests. The kids all walked by Kate and Rick and one by one they hugged Kate and then Rick. By the time all the kids were out of the room, there wasn't a dry eye from the adults.

Then they watched as the nurses walked over to get Noah ready for the tests. Kate and Rick smiled and each of them leaned down to give their son a kiss. Then, they watched as he was wheeled out of the room. Looking so very small, but so very brave. Only once he was out of eyeshot did Kate break down crying. Rick held her and placed a small kiss on the top of her head.

They stood there in silence for a moment and then Kate felt a small tap on her back. She wiped her eyes and smiled when she saw Beth standing there. The little girl looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she simply threw her arms around Kate's waist. Kate wasn't sure how to react at first, but then she found herself hugging the little girl back.

Then, Beth looked up at Kate and told her, "He will be fine."

Kate could only nod as she watched the girl walk back over to her mother. The woman sent the girl off to a room set off to the side. Then her mom came over to Kate and before Kate could react, she felt herself engulfed in a huge hug. Then Beth's mom said, "I know it's scary. Every time Beth gets a cold..." She sighed, "I wonder if the leukemia has come back. Every trip to the doctor is scary as hell for us. More so for me than for her. She had more optimism in her little finger than I do in my whole body."

"She's amazing."

"She is. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. When she heard about Noah, she insisted that I bring her here. I really think she would live here if I let her."

Kate laughed for the first time that day, "She's destined for great things."

"She wants to be a doctor. Wants to find a cure for cancer."

"If anyone can do it, it would be her."

It was then that Beth's mom realized she hadn't introduced herself, she stuck out her hand and told Kate, "I'm Cindy."

"I'm Kate."

"It's nice to meet you Kate. Look, it's going to be awhile before he's back up here. Did you want to get a cup of coffee with me? Beth is going to be busy for awhile and you look like you could use a bit of a break."

"I don't want to leave him and.."

"Did they give you your beeper?"

Kate shook her head, "No. What's that for?"

Cindy held up her hand and smiled, "Wait one second."

Kate watched as the woman walked over to the nurses desk and talked with one of the woman sitting behind it. She put out her hand and the nurse handed her a small square object. She thanked the woman and walked back over to Kate. She handed Kate the beeper and told her, "This is how they will contact you when Noah gets back from the biopsy, but it won't be for awhile."

Cindy looped her arm through Kate's and led her to the elevator. Rick smiled as he watched the women leave. Rick wasn't a religious person, but he soon found his way to the chapel in the hospital...


	21. Chapter 21

Thankfully the chapel was empty when Rick walked inside. He knew that if he had seen anyone else he probably wouldn't have been able to stay. Everyone would know him and they would look for any kind of gossip on him and his family.

He walked in and sat down on one of the many pews. He honestly didn't know where to start. So, he simply looked forward and managed to say, "I'm not sure where to start of what to say. I've never had a reason to, but my son is sick and I..."

It was then that Rick broke down and looked down at his hands. He started again, "I'm not even sure if you exist and... well, my son is very sick and..." Rick took a deep breath and he felt a sob break forth. He had never been in this position before. Any time he had been faced with a problem like this he was able to use his money or fame to get what he wanted or needed.

He closed his eyes and continued, "I'm not sure why I'm even here. I guess I figured that it can't hurt. If you do exist, please look over my little boy. He's so little and he has barely started his life. I would change places with him if you'd let me."

Even as he said it, Rick realized that it was impossible. It didn't make him feel any better. All it did was make him feel helpless and impotent. His son was sick and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

That was when he noticed a man standing off to the side. He was an elderly gentleman and he wore a soft smile. He looked at Rick and said, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to intrude,"

Rick swiped at his eyes and shook his head, "It's okay. I was just leaving."

"Would it be okay if I said a prayer for your boy?"

Nodding Rick told him, "It can't hurt and if it helps him it's worth it."

"What's his name?"

"Noah, Noah Beckett."

The man smiled and nodded, "It's a strong name. It means long lived and comfort. I have a feeling that everything will be okay. Would you be okay with my visiting him? When he's up to it."

"I'll check with his mother, but I'm sure she won't mind."

With that, Rick turned and left the chapel and he found his way back to Noah's room. The room was still empty except for Kate. She was sitting in the room with Cindy and they were talking softly. When Kate saw him come back into the room, she smiled and got up and walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around him and refused to let go. Rick kissed the top of her head and whispered, "It's okay Kate."

"You can't know that Rick. What if we lose him? He's so little and..."

Rick put his finger on her mouth and then whispered, "Think positively Kate. He's my son afterall."

Kate leaned against his chest and let out another sob. After what seemed like hours, Kate and Rick heard the sound of their son being wheeled back into the room. He was still asleep, but the doctor assured him that he would be waking up soon.

The next few hours passed by in a blur. Noah was a bit grumpy when woke up later that evening. He complained about being sore and his throat hurt. So, the nurses brought him plenty of ice cream. They also assured Kate that the soreness would go away in a day or so.

Early the next morning, Doctor Darby came to give Kate and Rick the news. She smiled softly at them and said, "He does have leukemia. I wish the news was better, but it could be worse. We are going to start him on chemotherapy and then depending on how he responds to it we will see what other options we have."

Kate looked at her and asked, "What can we expect going forward?"

"He will get sick from the chemotherapy, but even though it might seem like he's getting worse, the radiation is actually helping his body fight the cancer. The good news is that if he has to have a transplant then we've had almost a thousand volunteers. I still want to test the immediate family. They will be the best match. I'll set up the tests for later today."

Rick and Kate both nodded and they went to sit with their son. Kate wanted to take her son and run away from this awful place. Wanted to go back to the way things were before. Back to the time when her sons whole life stretched before him. He was supposed to be playing and having the time of his life. Not laying here in a hospital bed fighting for his life.

Kate looked over at Rick and she knew that the look on his face was the same as her own. They both felt completely helpless. As parents, they wanted to help and protect their children. They both felt helpless and afraid of what the future might bring.

They sat there staring at one another for the longest time. Until they heard a voice say, "Can we come in?"

Kate looked up and saw her parents. She stood up and hugged her mother tightly. Holding her mother there in the hospital room Kate completely broke down. Johanna hugged her daughter tightly and let her cry. She rubbed her back and kissed her daughter's forehead. Whispering words of comfort to her only daughter.

It was in the middle of this that Beth appeared in the doorway. The little girl walked into the room as if she owned the place. Rick smiled at her confidence and Noah welcomed his new friend. Beth looked at Rick and asked, "Can we take him to the club room?"

Doctor Darby had followed her inside and the doctor laughed, "If he feels up to it. He's still a bit sore."

Beth nodded and then she looked at Kate crying. Rick could see that she was thinking hard to herself. She finally shook her head and walked over to where Johanna and Kate were standing. She tapped Kate on the back and Kate turned around to look at the little girl. Beth smiled brightly at her and before anyone in the room knew what was happening, Beth threw herself at Kate and hugged her tightly. Kate allowed her hands to wrap around Beth's shoulders and the little girl told her, "It's going to be okay. Doctor Darby is the best. She cured me and she will do the same for Noah."

Kate could only nod at the little girls optimism. To be young and innocent again was something that Kate was longing for right now. Kate whispered, "Thank you."

Beth smiled up at Kate and then held out her hand to her. Kate took it and Beth led her from the room and down a winding corridor. Kate wasn't exactly sure where they were going, but she didn't question the little girl. She knew that it was important to Beth, so she would go along with her.

They finally arrived at a brightly decorated door. It had been painted in all bright colors. Across the door it was written, "The Club" and Beth told Kate, "Open the door."

Kate did as she was asked and when she opened the door she saw the most beautifully decorated room ever. The wall was decorated with all of the Winnie The Pooh characters and across the wall was written, "Welcome To Pooh Corner"

To say that she was amazed would be an understatement. She saw that there were a few toys scattered around the floor, but for the most part, it was simply a happy place. A place that was so different from the rest of the hospital. It was definitely a happy place.

Kate asked, "Is this where you want to bring him?"

Beth nodded, "The rest of the gang is going to come here later today. They are getting everything ready for him."

Kate wanted to ask so many questions, but decided that they would wait for later. She simply said, "I think he will like this."

Beth brightened and told Kate, "He will. He can come here whenever he wants. When the chemo gets to be too much. We don't have a lot of toys, but he's welcome to play with whatever we do have. We have a tv in that corner over there and some DVD's."

Kate smiled at the little girl. Then she took her hand and told Beth, "Would you like to go back and sit with Noah? At least until the rest of the kids get here later."

Beth nodded and ran over to the counter and grabbed a small stuffed animal from behind it. Kate decided right then and there that she was going to do something for these kids and this place. It needed more toys and games.

She took Beth's hand and they walked back to Noah's room. Kate smiled when she heard laughter coming from inside the room. She knew that the coming weeks were going to be hard on her son. And laughter was going to be hard to come by. She wanted to make sure that he had reasons to smile and she had a feeling that it would start with Beth and the amazing club she'd seen downstairs...


	22. Chapter 22

I want to thank everyone that either favorited or liked this story. Unfortunately I believe that the time has come for this story to go on hiatus. I had thought about deleting the story altogether,but decided that it wouldn't be fair to the people that actually enjoyed the story.

To the ones that didn't,I'm sorry for wasting your time. The story had taken a detour and I was planning on getting it back on track in the next chapter,but decided that I shouldn't waste any of my readers time. So, it will be placed on temporary hiatus until I'm in a better mental state. I suffered a great personal loss yesterday and I'm not in a great place emotionally.. I might bring the story back later, but I can't make any promises. I already had the entire story written, but really can't take any of negative reviews I'm receiving right now... And don't say that I'm thin skinned, I'm not really. I'm just hurting emotionally and any little thing sets me off right now.

Again, thanks for sticking with me and thank you for your heartfelt reviews. I'm just sorry that I couldn't have done this story more justice...


	23. Chapter 23

**_Okay, despite being super upset last night, I've decided to carry on with this story. I will ignore all of the negative reviews and focus on the positive. So, if you have something negative to say, I won't respond to it going forward. _**

**_I want to thank all of you that PM'ed me to ask me to continue with this story. That means more to me that you can ever know. This story is near and dear to my heart so I will continue. If you feel the need to be negative, so be it. _**

**_I want to thank those of you that love this story and take the time to leave positive reviews. As one reviewer said, this is fan fiction not real life. So, I can play with it however I want. Don't like it, don't read..._**

Rick smiled as he watched Kate and Noah with each other. This trip hadn't turned out the way either of them expected. Once Noah was better, they were going to take a nice long trip someplace. When none of them had to worry about sickness or health and they could concentrate on simply having fun.

Kate caught his eye and she smiled at him softly. He smiled back at her and they both noticed that Noah was falling asleep. Kate motioned with her head and they walked out of the room together. Rick noticed how exhausted she appeared. So, he gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly. Then she whispered, "I don't know if I'm strong enough for this Rick. How can I be strong for him? Especially when I feel like I'm falling apart."

Rick kissed the top of her head and then whispered, "You are the strongest woman I know Katherine Beckett. You raised two children all by yourself and..."

Kate led him over to the chairs in the hallway and then took his hands. She whispered softly, "I should have let you in. I will always be sorry for that. I know that this trip isn't what you wanted, but..."

Rick shook his head and whispered, "Life rarely goes as planned Kate."

Kate looked into his eyes and what she saw there surprised him. She saw a look of undying love. How could he still love her after everything she'd done? After all of the lies and not telling him about Noah for so long. If anyone had a reason to hate someone, Rick had every reason to hate her. He took her hands and she whispered, "I've loved you for so long Rick. I wanted this trip to change things between us. I wanted so many things Rick. I had no idea that Noah would end up here. Fighting for his life. I..."

Not sure how to silence her, Rick leaned forward and kissed her softly. It had the desired effect. She was rendered speechless and after a few minutes, he felt her lips move underneath his own. When they pulled apart, Kate looked at him and he whispered, "I'm sorry..."

Kate shook her head and then leaned forward and kissed him again. This time the kiss was so very sweet and intimate. They only separated when the need for air became a necessity. They looked into each others eyes and then Kate whispered, "That was amazing..."

Rick leaned his forehead against hers and they simply looked at each other. Then Rick whispered, "It was. I love you Kate. So very much. I know that I should hate you, but God I love you. I've always loved you." When Kate didn't say anything, he whispered, "Please say something..."

"H-how can you love me still? I hurt you and..."

Rick shook his head, "That was in the past Kate. It doesn't matter to me what happened. I want you... I wanted you back then. Tell me you want me."

Kate nodded, "I've always wanted you. Always."

"When Noah is better..."

"What?"

"I want us to be a family. Me, you and the kids."

Kate smiled and nodded, "I'd love that."

They sat together in the hallway holding each others hands silently. Kate finally whispered, "Tell me that he's going to be okay Rick."

Rick smiled, "He's going to be just fine. When he grows up, he's going to be the most amazing son a mother could ask for. He might be a doctor, police detective or a lawyer."

Kate smiled and interjected, "Or he might be a writer just like his father."

"Or that. He will protect his sister's and his mother."

"And he will keep his father out of trouble."

"I see so many things in his future. I also see another brother or sister."

That shocked Kate into silence. She looked into his eyes and asked, "You want more children?"

Rick smiled, "I wouldn't say no to more children." Then he lowered his voice and continued, "Especially with you Kate."

She had never been more shocked that she was at that moment. If you had asked her how Rick had felt about her a few days ago, she would have said that he hated her, but hearing him say that he would love to have more children with her was shocking. It was a pleasant shock however. She found that that was a wonderful promise for the future.

Kate whispered, "I just want Noah to get better and then we can focus on us."

"That's all I want Kate. I really, really want there to be an us in our future."

"Me to. But we have to worry about Noah and then our future..."

"Then our future is all out in front of us. So are we really going to give us a shot?"

Kate nodded, "If you can forgive me for screwing everything up all those years ago. Then who am I to deny what's destined to be. I love you Richard Castle."

"And I love you Katherine Beckett. Forever and always..."

And just like that, their futures seemed so much clearer. There would still be hurdles to overcome, but somehow, none of that mattered. Family was the only thing that mattered and the rest would work itself out eventually.

Kate smiled when she saw Beth walking towards them. She knew that the girl had come to bring Noah downstairs and she found herself excited to see what was in store for their little boy.

Beth walked into Noah's room and smiled when she saw the little boy sitting up in his bed. Beth held out her hand and asked, "Are you ready to see the club?"

Noah looked a bit shy, but he nodded and asked, "Can my mommy come?"

Beth smiled, "Of course! And you dad can come to."

Noah's smile lit up the room and Beth helped him out of the bed. She put him in the wheelchair and started pushing him out of the room. Rick and Kate followed close behind them. They both knew that this was something that Beth and Noah could do together.

Kate held out her hand and Rick took it and gave it a sot squeeze. Kate had never been more thankful for Rick being back in her life than she was in this moment. She knew that she couldn't have done this alone. It was almost as if fate had brought them together again for this reason. She knew that she would do anything and everything she could to keep him in her life forever...


	24. Chapter 24

The first thing noticed was the many kids lining the corridor on the way to the club. The second thing that she noticed was that each of the kids were holding a different Pooh character. There were many Pooh Bears, Rabbits, Owls Kanga's and Roo's. There were even a few Eeyore's scattered here and there.

When Noah reached the end of the line of kids, there was a podium set up. On each step was a Pooh character. Beth smiled at Noah and told him, "You can pick out your favorite one. He will be someone to hug while the doctors work their magic on you."

Beth didn't want to tell him anything about the procedures that he was going to have to go through. It was hard enough for her at her age, but as little as Noah was, she hated to think about what was ahead for him.

Noah looked at his mom and then at the stuffed animals. Kate could tell that her son had something on his mind. She looked at her little boy and told him, "Go ahead. Pick one."

Noah nodded and reached for the stuffed Eeyore. Kate had felt like that was the one that her son would choose. It had always been his favorite of the different Pooh characters. She watched as he hugged it tightly and smiled.

Beth smiled and grabbed Noah's hand and then led him inside. The moment the doors opened, the lights turned off and the music started playing. The children all filed in behind Beth and Noah. Each child danced with their stuffed animals.

_**Christopher Robin and I walked along  
>Under branches lit up by the moon<br>Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore  
>As our days disappeared all too soon<br>But I've wandered much further today than I should  
>And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood <strong>_

Noah's parents watched as their sons face lit up with wonder and excitement. The walls seemed to come alive with the actions of the different characters. Beth led Noah up to the front of the room and she let him sit on the chair that was on the stage. She whispered something to him and the smile that appeared on his face was a sight to see.

As the song played on, the children each walked up to Noah and introduced themselves to him.

_**Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do  
>Got a honey jar stuck on his nose<br>He came to me asking help and advice  
>From here no one knows where he goes<br>So I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there  
>How to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear <strong>_

By the time the kids were done, Kate and Rick both had tears running down their faces. They were happy tears and Kate was definitely grateful for all of these children. Rick smiled and then the lights came up. That was when he noticed for the first time just how sparsely decorated the room was. Kate saw the look on his face and nodded at him slowly. Then she placed a hand on his arm and whispered softly, "We will talk about it later."

Rick nodded and continued to watch the scene as it played out in front of them. At the end of the song, Beth handed Noah a crown and a scepter. She whispered to him and smiled. Kate was left wondering what she said to her son, but she sensed that it was a secret only those in the club knew about.

He looked so small sitting up there on that big throne, but he looked more confident that she had ever seen him before. Kate latched on to Rick's arm and let her head rest on his shoulder. Beth looked at them and waved. Kate took that as their cue to leave. So, Kate pulled Rick out of the room and they went to wait for their son outside of the club. Whatever happened inside after they left, it was only for the kids to know about. As curious as she was, she wouldn't ask for any details.

Rick went and sat down outside on one of the chairs. He looked at Kate and told her, "I need to do something about that club. It needs more toys and decorations. I can't believe how little there is in there."

Kate smiled, "Yeah. I guess it's hard for them to get donations."

Looking at her, he nodded and stood up suddenly. He told her softly, "I'll be back."

Watching him leave, she felt frightened and started to ask, "Where..."

Before she could get anything else out, Rick was already getting on the elevator. Was he leaving them again? Before that thought was even finished, she knew that it was crazy because they were working on becoming closer and maybe starting something in the future together. She wondered why he would take off so suddenly. She was still wondering that an hour later when the kids walked out of the doors to the club. She smiled as Noah ran over to her to give her a big hug. She smiled and kissed the top of Noah's head. Then she asked, "Did you have fun sweetheart?"

Noah nodded and yawned. Kate smiled and looked at Beth over his head. She whispered softly to the little girl, "Thank you."

Beth nodded and then walked over to where her mother was standing. Beth grabbed her mothers hand and walked her to the elevator. Kate was again amazed at how perceptive that little girl was. She was definitely something special.

Meanwhile, Rick had picked up Alexis and Samantha up and they were currently at the biggest shopping mall in the town. They were currently in the biggest toy store in the town. Rick had already filled up three shopping carts and there were no signs of him stopping anytime soon. He bought out every stuffed animal, game, and play set that they had. Normally, they wouldn't deliver, but since he was practically buying out the entire store, they made an exception. Especially when they found out who he was buying the toys for.

His next stop was to an electronics store. He purchased a huge television complete with a state of the art sound system. After arranging for the delivery, he then proceeded to buy gift cards for each of the children at the hospital.

After their shopping trip, Rick got on the phone with his attorney and got him started on the foundation for a fundraiser for the hospital. Specifically for leukemia awareness. No one would say that Richard Castle wasn't determined to do the best he could to help these children and his son.

He smiled at Alexis and Samantha and then they sat down for lunch and Samantha asked, "Is Noah going to die?"

Rick felt his heart break at the words the little girl spoke. He gathered her up in his arms and hugged her tightly. He finally told her truthfully, "Not if I can help it Sam."

And he knew that was the truth. He would spend any amount of money to make sure that Noah survived this disease. He would be damned if leukemia was going to steal the life of the youngest member of the Castle/Beckett household...

_**The song is Return To Pooh Corner by Kenny Loggins. It's an amazing song. Go check it out on you tube.**_


	25. Chapter 25

Kate and Rick had sat Noah down and explained that Rick was his father. Kate had forgotten the ability of little children to take things in stride. Her son had looked at them and shrugged. Then he smiled at Rick and asked, "Sam and Alexis are both my sissys?"

Rick had nodded, "Yes. Yes they are."

Noah had jumped up and ran upstairs. He was smiling the entire time. Kate looked at Rick and shrugged, "I guess he's okay with that."

"Apparently."

That was the easiest thing that would happen to them in the next six months. Noah seemed to get sicker and sicker each and every day. There were new therapies and treatments that they tried, but nothing seemed to work. It was almost as if his little body was giving up its fight.

Kate and Rick leaned more and more on each other during that time. Rick tried to remain strong for everyone, but the fight was taking its toll on them all.

In the middle of this time, Paula and Gina tried to send him on a book tour for the latest Nikki Heat book. Yes. He had continued to write his best selling series even though he and Kate had broken up years before. It had been his way of staying close to the woman that he loved.

He had told both of them that he wasn't going anywhere. That his family needed him to be there for them. They had threatened to sue him, but he was standing firm. He would do book signings in the city, but he wouldn't travel anywhere that would take him away from his family.

The turning point seemed to come after Noah had been fighting his battle for almost nine months. His little body was on the verge of completely giving up. He could barely get out of bed and he only smiled when he visited the club at the hospital.

Noah's doctor had tried everything she could think of. Every treatment had been tried on him and everything had failed. With each new treatment, Kate and Rick would get their hopes up. And with each failure of those treatments, Kate and Rick would have their hopes crushed.

It was a warm October day when they were called to meet with Noah's doctor. She was there to break the bad news to them. There was only one more treatment left and that if it didn't work, he wouldn't make it to Christmas. It was an extreme treatment, but it was necessary.

Karen looked at them and smiled softly, "It's going to be hard on him, but I'm hopeful that it will work."

Rick took a deep breath, "And if it doesn't?"

Karen smiled at him sadly, "I don't want to upset you, but this is honestly the last treatment we have for him. If this fails..."

Kate's hand went to her mouth, "Then we will lose him..."

Karen nodded, "He's getting weaker and weaker as time goes on. There's only so much that his body can take. I'm honestly surprised that he's doing as well as he has been. He's definitely a fighter."

Kate knew that Noah's doctor was right, but she honestly wondered how much longer her son could continue to fight this awful disease. At the beginning of his treatment, they had been so hopeful that he would recover and be a happy and healthy little boy again. Watching him waste away before their eyes, Kate and Rick were slowly losing hope for the son.

Karen explained the procedure to them. They were going to bombard his body with radiation to kill all of the cancer cells in his body. He would be susceptable to all kinds of infections, so they would have to wear masks whenever they visited him. Then, they would take the donor marrow and transplant it into his body. The part that made it extreme was that they would be basically be giving him all kinds of harmful drugs. Drugs that would make him extremely sick. Drugs that could potentially kill him. He would get much sicker before he got better.

The next three weeks went by so very slowly. Noah threw up and he lost so much of his precious body weight that Kate and Rick were told to prepare for the worst. Kate never left his side and Rick never left Kate's side. They were stuck in a kind of limbo and they knew that something had to give.

That something happened on day number two hundred and twenty. Thanksgiving had come and gone and Noah was still sicker than ever. However, the day after Thanksgiving, found Noah sitting up in his bed and asking for food. It was a miracle for so many reasons. One reason was that Noah had barely eaten anything since he'd started his treatments. Two, he hadn't sat up in his bed for the longest time. Preferring to simply lay in the bed.

When Kate felt his forehead, she was surprised that there was no fever and looking into his eyes they appeared bright and clear. Kate called for the nurse on duty and the woman came into the room with a smile on her face. She asked Kate, "What's going on with our little man today?"

"He seems to be feeling better today."

The nurse looked at Noah and she could tell that her favorite patient, was indeed feeling better. His eyes looked much clearer than they had in the past three months. He had no fever and his little body seemed to be coming back to the better side of normal.

The nurse smiled, "I'm going to call Karen. Then, I'm going to get him something to eat."

Noah smiled, "Pancakes!"

Kate and the nurse both laughed at Noah's enthusiasm. Noah was finally started to act like his old self again. Kate picked up her phone and sent Rick a text letting him know that he needed to get back to the hospital.

They had just gotten Noah's pancakes in front of him when Rick came running into the room. He was out of breath and it was obvious that he had been in a hurry to get there. He put his hands on his side and it took him for a few minutes to be able to say, "I'm here...Is he...okay?"

Kate smiled softly and then pointed to their son. Rick looked at him and the sight that greeted him amazed him. Their son looked healthy again. Rick whispered, "He looks amazing..."

Kate laughed and that was when Karen walked into the room. She took one look at her patient and said, "Well, someone looks like they are feeling much better."

Noah said nothing, but he continued to eat his breakfast. She smiled at her favorite patient and asked, "Can I take a little bit of your blood today Noah?"

Noah's face took on a pained look and he said, "It's gonna hurt..."

Rick and Kate sighed. Their little boy had been through so much in the last few months. More than any little boy should be. However, Karen smiled and said, "Yeah, but hopefully its almost over now."

Then, Noah held out his arm to his doctor and scrunched up his eyes tightly. Kate watched as her brave little boy had his blood taken. Karen hurried off and promised to return as soon as she had the results of the blood test.

Those results came nearly four hours later and they would shock and amaze everyone. Kate and Rick were playing with their son. Almost like normal and when Karen came back into the room she sat down on a chair and looked at Rick, Kate and Noah. She smiled softly and then told them, "There's no easy way to say this guys."

Kate and Rick held onto each others hands and waited for the bad news. She looked at them and then a huge smile broke out on her face. She told them, "Well, it looks as if the cancer is in remission. The last treatment was a success!"

Rick looked at her and asked, "You aren't kidding us are you?"

Looking at them with tears in her eyes, Karen shook her head, "I wouldn't do that. His blood counts were all normal."

Kate asked, "He's cured?"

Karen shook her head and told them, "He won't ever be cured, but he's in remission. He will need to be checked over the next few years, but this is a great sign! It means he can go home and he can start school next year!"

His parents were speechless and Noah asked, "No more needles?"

Karen laughed, "Not right now buddy! For now, you get to go home and be a normal little munchkin."

Noah clapped his hands and shouted, "Yay!"

Kate and Rick simply smiled at each other and then they moved closer to one another and kissed softly. Noah smiled and whispered, "Mommy and Daddy kissy..."

Karen smiled at the happy family and was thankful that this last treatment worked. She left them alone so that they could celebrate together. She smiled and then she high-fived one of the nurses at the nurses station. This was why she'd gone into medicine and she looked forward to continuing with him on his cancer free journey...


	26. Chapter 26

Samantha and Alexis were sitting at school the morning after they had gotten the news that their brother was cancer free. That was still something that Alexis was having a hard time wrapping her mind around. Sure, it had been almost a year since they had found out that they shared a brother, but with everything that had happened in between, it hadn't really sunk in. At least not until now.

Samantha looked at her friend and asked, "Are you listening to me?"

Alexis shook her head, "Not really. What did you say?"

Samantha sighed and shook her head. Then she said, "Never mind."

"What?"

"Just forget it."

Samantha stood up and grabbed her trash and headed towards the trash can. She shook her head the entire way. She and Alexis had been drifting further and further away from each other. She decided that maybe their friendship was over for good.

Alexis was running along behind her and she kept asking, "Where are you going Sam? What's wrong? What did I do?"

Sam shook her head, "Nothing! You didn't do anything. Look, lets just forget about all of this. Getting our parents together? A big mistake. Lets just choke it up to a big mistake."

Alexis shook her head, "Sam! I don't think it is. Look, they were together way back when. Noah is proof of that and.."

"Yeah and it didn't last. Look, they've been together right now because they have to be for the sake of our brother. They don't talk unless it's about him and his cancer. Lets face it Lex, they aren't meant to be."

"Sam I.."

"Forget it Lex. Just forget the whole damn thing..."

With that, Samantha stormed off before her friend could see the tears in her eyes. She was frustrated with their parents lack of progress in the dating front. Sure, she wanted her mother to be happy, but at what price? All that had happened since Alexis' father had come back into their life was that her brother got sick and her mother cried all the time. Sure, she tried to hide it from her, but she could hear her in her bedroom late at night. She heard her crying and Sam wanted to do something to help her mom, but she was afraid to ask her what was wrong.

Alexis watched as her friend stormed off and wondered what she had done wrong. She had only wanted to talk to her and ask her if she wanted to spend the night at her house this weekend. Well forget it. If Samantha didn't want to be friends anymore, that was fine with her.

Alexis stormed into the loft and slammed the door loudly. She didn't know that her dad and Kate were sitting in the living room talking. At least not until she heard Kate say, "Are you sure that your mother will be able to do it?"

"Positive. After everything we've been through in the past few months we need a vacation. This will be perfect. Do you think Sam and Noah will enjoy it? He they ever been to Disney World?"

Kate shook her head and smiled at Rick, "I know they will. It will be fun after the stress of the past few months and..."

That was when Alexis stormed out of the living room and stomped upstairs. It was obvious to her what was going on. Obviously, her dad was planning on dumping her with her Grandmother while he and Kate took Samantha and Noah on a trip to Disney. She was probably going to be left home alone. Fine. She didn't want to go on some stupid trip anyway.

She threw herself on the bed and noticed that her computer was signaling that she had a message. She stood up and went over to it and saw that it was from Alexis. She was so upset over everything that had happened that day that she didn't bother to answer her friend. She simply turned off the program and went back to lay down on her bed. Stupid Alexis. Stupid parents. Stupid everything.

Alexis heard her father knock on her bedroom door, but she didn't answer when he asked, "You okay Alexis?"

She heard him knock again and then she heard him say, obviously to Kate, "She probably fell asleep. Did you want to go pick up Samantha and Noah and then bring them back here? We can tell them about it together."

Kate smiled and put her arms around Rick's neck. Then she whispered, "I'd love that. I think that sounds like an amazing idea. Especially after everything that's happened lately. We all need this Rick."

With that, she leaned forward and kissed him so very softly. She pulled away and whispered to him softly, "I love you Rick. So, very much. Are we really going to give this a shot?"

Nodding, Rick told her, "Yes, yes we are." Rick saw the look on her face and asked, "That's what you want. Right?"

Nodding, Kate whispered, "I've never wanted anything more Rick. I think we stand a shot at being a real family."

Alexis heard most of the conversation, but she still thought that they meant to exclude her, she thought to herself, "They will probably send me to live with Meredith in California. Figures. I should just save them the trouble and leave..."

Alexis got out of her bed and pulled out her suitcase. She put some of her clothes in and threw her stuffed animal inside. She was half packed when she heard the bedroom door open. Her father came inside and asked, "What are you doing Alexis?"

She didn't look at her father and whispered, "I'm leaving."

Rick sat down on her bed and patted the spot beside him. Alexis looked at him and shook her head, "No."

Rick would have laughed, but he knew that the last few weeks had been hard on everyone. So, he asked, "Are you okay?"

Alexis sighed, "Do I look okay dad?"

Rick shook his head, "No. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"No. I'm going to live with mom. It's what's going to happen anyway. Especially now that you have Noah and he's all better. You and Kate don't need me anymore."

That was when they both heard Kate say, "That's not true Alexis. Noah needs his big sister."

Alexis didn't look at Kate, she simply shrugged, "He has his big sister. He has Samantha."

Kate walked over and knelt in front of Alexis. Then she made Alexis look her in the eyes and she whispered, "He needs both of his big sister. You and Sam."

Alexis sighed, "I've never been a big sister before."

Kate smiled, "Well, Samantha has been. She can teach you a lot about what it takes to be a big sister. She can tell you how he likes it when she reads to him after he has a bath. How he loves his stuffed bunny rabbit. And then there are the things that only you can do."

"Like what?"

Kate thought for a moment and then smiled and told her, "Well, once he starts school, he will need someone to help him with his homework. And he will need someone to protect him from all the mean kids."

Alexis took a deep breath and told Kate, "I could...I could do that."

"And no one, and I mean no one can love him like his big sister does."

"He is kinda cute. I guess I could be a big sister to him. If Samantha doesn't mind."

"I think Sam would like that. She needs a break every now and then."

Her dad smiled softly and whispered, "And we are going to take everyone to Disney World. We need a break after everything that's went on in the past several months. We are going to have a wonderful trip."

"You want me to go with you?"

Kate and Rick both nodded and then Alexis threw her arms around her fathers neck and hugged him tightly. Then, before she could second guess herself, she hugged Kate tightly. Kate had to swallow hard to keep the emotions from her voice when she said, "I'm going to go get Sam and Noah. Want me to bring back dinner?"

Rick shook his head, "I'll call for delivery. Is Chinese okay?"

Kate smiled at him, "That's sound perfect Rick. See you in an hour?"

"You can count on it."

With that, Kate left Alexis' bedroom and headed downstairs. Smiling the entire time. She was falling more and more in love with Rick and his family as time went by. She knew that she had always loved him, but she'd been afraid of that love. Now they were slowly finding their way back to each other. One day and one step at a time.

She knew that this trip was going to be amazing. A trip with both of their families to the happiest place on earth. She couldn't think of anything better to bring them some happiness. There had been too many tears during the past elven months. Now it was time for happiness. She smiled as she thought about how her children would react to the news. What she couldn't have expected was how it would cement their relationship even further...


	27. Chapter 27

Kate had known that Samantha and Noah would be excited about their upcoming trip to Disney World. However, she smiled when Noah had asked what was so special about the place. Alexis had gone many times and she told her friend all about everything there was to do there. By the end of the night all three kids were extremely excited about their upcoming trip.

Rick had arranged for Kate's parents to come along with them. She had looked at him and asked, "Isn't that going to be crazy expensive?"

Rick shrugged, "It's worth it. Plus, I know a guy."

Kate laughed at the expression. It was the same one that Rick had said so many times before. Whenever he was trying to convince he of something that she thought was impossible. He had finally laughed and kissed her softly. Leaving her silent and quite stunned.

When they pulled apart she touched her lips with her fingers and whispered, "Why did you do that Rick?"

"I've been dying to kiss you for awhile now, but with Noah being so sick... Well, it didn't seem right."

Kate was rendered speechless and all she could do was look at him. She had been wanting that also, but she had thought that he only wanted to be in Noah's life. She hadn't thought of what the future held for them. She had convinced herself that they would simply be two people raising a son together. Separate but equal. However, for the first time she could see herself doing this with Rick. Loving him. Loving their children. She framed his face in her hands and whispered, "I love you Rick. Do you think there's a future for us?"

He leaned forward and kissed her again. Then he told her softly, "I know there is Kate. There always was a future for us. We were just too blind and too stupid to chase after it. Let me ask you a question."

"Anything."

"Do you want this? Do you want a life with me and Alexis? Can you see yourself growing old with me. Loving me forever and raising our children together."

Kate didn't hesitate for even a moment when she smiled at him and said, "Yes Rick. I can see all of that and more."

Rick smiled at her and asked, "More?"

"So much more. I can see us watching our children play from the porch in the Hamptons."

"Children? How many are we talking about?"

Kate laughed and shook her head, "Seriously? I'd love to have one or two more children with you. I want you to be there with me through everything. I had a relatively easy pregnancy with Noah, but..."

"But?"

"But I missed you being there for all of the little things. Hearing his heartbeat for the first time. The first sonogram. The first time that I felt him move. When I found out we were having a son... I.."

Rick let his hand caress hers and he asked, "What?"

"I almost called you Rick. Almost told you about him. About our son."

"What stopped you?"

Kate sighed, "I remembered that stupid magazine article. Meredith was beautiful Rick. She's a Hollywood actress and she's so beautiful. She's everything you deserve. I'm just a dumb cop and..."

Rick shook his head, "No. You are so much more than that Kate. Meredith was all bling and no substance. She didn't love me or Alexis. She loved the idea of being in love, but nothing that went along with it. What we had together was real. It was the best six months of my life Kate. I was married to Meredith for years and it wasn't as good as what we had together."

"How could you love me Rick?"

"I guess it's because the heart wants what it wants. It doesn't make sense Kate. I shouldn't love you. Hell, I shouldn't trust you, but I do. To both. I want you in my life and in my bed. I want to raise our children together. All of our children. Alexis, Sam, Noah and whatever kids we might have in the future. You are it for me Kate. Forever and always."

She looked into his eyes and she knew that it was true. He still loved her and despite wanting to deny it, she still loved him. So, she whispered, "I want to also Rick. I was just afraid to want it with you."

Rick laughed, "We sure made a mess of everything didn't we?"

Laughing, Kate nodded and whispered, "We did, but I think that we can still make things right."

Kissing her again softly, Rick pulled away and whispered, "I think we can. I will always love you Katherine Beckett."

"I don't deserve it, but thank you."

Rick smiled and summed up their relationship in one simple words, "Always..."

Kate looked at him and smiled and he smiled back at her. She laughed and kissed him one final time. Then she told him, "I'll see you tomorrow Rick."

"Until tomorrow."

Rick turned and headed up the stairs of her house and returned a few minutes with a very sleepy Alexis on his shoulder. He smiled at her one last time and then headed out the door.

Kate's stomach felt like it had a million butterflies in it the following morning. Her mother had called her to make sure that she and the kids were going to be ready. Kate assured her mother that she was, in fact, packed and ready for their trip. With the way that her mother was treating her, Kate felt like she was twelve again and living at home.

She was just getting ready to get into her SUV when a town car pulled up in front of her house and Alexis and Rick hurried out. He walked over to them and told them, "Where are you going?"

Kate laughed, "Uh, we are driving to the airport. Where did you think we are going?"

It was then that Kate noticed the driver walking to the back of the SUV and removing all of the luggage she had carefully packed. He was talking it to the back of the town car and opening the trunk to place it inside. Kate shook her head, "This isn't necessary Rick, I.."

"This isn't up for negotiation Kate..."

"I have to pick up my parents and.."

Rick smiled and shook his head, "No you don't. I have another car picking them up. Along with my mom. We will meet them at the airport."

Kate simply stood and stared at him. He really had thought of everything. She smiled and whispered, "Thank you Rick."

"Don't mention it. Now, we had better get going before we miss our flight. Although since it's a private plane there really isn't any danger of that happening."

Wait, did he say private plane? She turned and asked, "Did you say private plane?"

"Yeah. It was actually cheaper than buying tickets for everyone and more convenient."

Shaking her head, she laughed and wondered what other surprises he had in store for this trip. What she didn't know,what she couldn't know were the surprises that were in store for them once they arrived in Orlando. The private plane was only the first of the surprises that awaited the small family.

Rick had arranged for them to be shown to a private waiting area in the airport. Then, they were hurried to the airplane and each picked their seats for the flight to Florida. Alexis and Samantha picked seats near the back of the plane. Jim and Johanna Beckett sat near them. While Martha sat near the front. So, Kate and Rick sat near the middle of the plane.

Rick took a chance to glance at Kate and was glad to see the small smile on her face. He hoped that today was the first of many that he could see that smile on her face. He had a feeling that she was going to love the wonderful surprise that was in store for them all upon landing at the Orlando airport...


End file.
